About tonight
I am with the elder at a parishioner’s home tonight. It’s a night of family and blessings for the home and holiness. It is clear that the elder may say things sometimes that are a little off but it’s more about what he represents that people gush over. He helps them with their need. SHARED BELIEFS is a powerful thing
And can be so health giving.
I’m questioning my own propensity to relay these kinds of thoughts to you and my family. Some how believing that they are epiphany which might hopefully seem intelligent or just good news to share.
I’m finding within myself that I dip into my feelings so often to mitigate the passions I might get caught up in if I did not. But knowing that now helps me be present and to understand the value and care associated with sharing beliefs thoughts and ideas with others is a vulnerable but really important thing. Something to respect. At least is my belief.It’s funny the way the elder works I’d imagine how a jungian psychologist might work. Connecting meanings and providing a shared meaning in life.The elder looks like Gandalf the wizard.
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It’s so interesting my awareness is shifting towards seeing how I deal with anxiety, whether it’s having a focus on a project or complaint, like a dog with a bone. I found my voice to day while administering services because I thought about the anxiety or soothing that I was leading the sisters and congregation with. I’m in first meal now and the reading, it’s making me anxious but it is my focus in terms of a headset that I am seeing is what I am doing
You are working with the unknown in all you are experiencing now, and you are making it happen as best as you are able in the moment.
Here's to you!
thanks Mid!
I'm glad you have such an important thing to be involved in.
Thanks Becky!
Anxiety it’s like radio noise that i can turn my attention to or not. Being here at the monastery is also teaching me to be a generic person. I may not want to do some of the tasks we are doing but I know they’ve got to get done. Everyone has to deal with meal prep here My super yearning for being able to do what I want to do at times (while tasking) is now also becoming radio noise and I’m learning to schedule in those wanted things if in fact the desire comes to the fore again or often enough. I find I’m kind of ruled by my body. I did the work at the kitchen and now I’m just tired and made a cup of tea and I’ll be with Blue. No real will or cognizance for much else. It’s cloudy and rainy. I’ve got the radio on and Blue and I are laying in bed.
You are learning so much Marky and have come so far
I imagine as time goes on and you become more and more used to your public position the anxiety will lessen
Enjoy your time with Bluey...xo
Thanks Jan!