about to log on for therapy

I've had some good ideas today...

if you know me, I like routines...I like making things

into systems to know how to do them and to try and make sense of things

and promote a good outcome.

I've been mostly enjoying the very routine quality of things at work lately.

Enjoying that I can do things fast and well...predictably

but I noticed today and in the past that if I don't keep

an eye on myself and have a logic about things - I will find

myself railing against the skies/crazies because of not having

an orderly aim about the whole thing of what I am doing..

today I noticed that - and yet I know I need to keep dynamic because

something unexpected will always come up..

so I parced things as I did them - I adjusted my perspective to learn

about the unknown thing I was doing to accomadate it and the situation

and then knew that I could go back to the orderly thing once things were settled.

I don't know if this makes sense? I am trying not to be a shut-in or victim of my anxiety 

about the unknown - but instead I'd like to champion the situation of making steps

into the new lands, so to speak. One thing I realized when I was relying on myself

when I had my real break with mental wellness was that I didn't consider myself needing

rests or 'rest time.' I pushed myself until I became really shredded apart.

I hope I can take that lesson with me.. and make for some productivity going ahead!

This is just what I've been thinking about..

going into therapy now!! Holding nose and canonball!!!!!!! :)