about my need
sometimes my need is about wanting to be safe or ok or protected. Sometimes I know now to put my hysteria to the side and then get my work done. It's a great awakening of the importance of ordering relationships. Sometimes I just want to live in a pretty picture. Sometimes the crossing of the paths of that determining of relationships and the work to get done is tenuously caught up in a moment of grace. It's not always easy to not get derailed.
Replies
The ideal of wanting to live in a pretty picture can sure have its allure Mark
Life is hard sometimes really hard
Big hug ...xo
Agreed Jan, and that idea now couched with the reality of interpersonal relationships and what I do for a living to help me get there has me a bit more aware and resolved and inspired
Thanks Jan!!
I know living in a pretty picture sounds funny - - but it's my kneejerk anxiety that unexpressed was having me
pyning. Now that I gave that inclination expression - I find I can hold a personal goal and context of being
around others with dreams - and not just be a vessel or receptacle for life - but an active participant in the context
of other participants - lol - my simple reply - I have in the past been very design and art oriented - my home
was my masterpiece - now I am feeling much more open to others' dreams -
I left a message for my therapist but was cut off by the time limit. My therapist is right, I definitely can come to a place of understanding but then I can’t sustain things for a long period - I think she told me to set me understanding and compassion for
my struggles. For example, I was doing great this morning and confident and then feared the unknown a mistake or something and then i knee jerked into objectivity examining self.. . The disorder peaks and ebbs. I realize I can search for absolutes but I guess what it is really about is keeping myself encouraged and you guys. my family and friends really do that for me so much. Thank you again..
i often imagine myself living in pretty pictures. it makes a wonderful escape fantasy and sometimes nets me new ways to appreciate the beautiful pictures within my real time life.
that which is urgent is seldom important and that which is urgent is seldom important. tending to those unimportant urgencies (cleanup in aisle 5) keeps me from losing my sanity over the important stuff, like developing relationships.
and then we get to the ebb and flow of that ever changing emotional river which flows from my heart. . . different thread.
don't underestimate the value of what you give back in this support group, markus. the healing of one is the healing of us all.
Thanks Arfie!! Hug!!