A Surprisingly Good Day

Dear Fred:
Today was actually a positive day!  It felt good.  There was still sadness and the feeling of loss.  However,overall, the day was a positive experience.
This morning I took Kay to Mt View Hospital for her carpal tunnel surgery.  This was a challenge to me.  Nick & I went there for his MRI when they found the cancer had spread to his pelvis & bones.  We also went there when they surgically installed the port for his chemo treatments.   That was back in the days when we still held onto hope.  It was good, however, to go back there without being emotionally torn apart.  Kay's surgery went fine.  I took her back home where her 22 yr old grand daughter is to help her.  It felt good to be able to help a friend after all the help I have been given.
Today I worked more on the laundry that I allowed to pile up.  Last time I did laundry it was very emotional.  So many memories.  This time I was able to do it without being tearful. 
I also tackled the weed whacker and trimmed all the edges around the fencing.  WOW it was hot.  Again, I was able to do yard work with only a few tears.  Much better than last attempt.  I am trying to focus on keeping the property looking good as I know Nick was proud of his home & the accomplishment of having it paid for. So, I do it in memory of Nick.
Tonight John & Lee Ann popped by.  We had drinks out on the back deck.  The heat of the day gradually left and it was relaxing and a very beautiful evening.  This was the first time since Nick died that I have sat on our deck.  It felt strange that he wasn't there.  It helped a whole bunch that this experience was shared by our good friends.
Thank you Fred for listening.  I am glad I had something positive to share with you tonight.  Bye for now.
Darlene    7/18/2011



Darlene, I\'m glad you had a good day. My husband always kept the property looking good and now its up to me. I have to say, things don\'t look as good as they did. He took such good care of the yard and the apple trees he planted. It\'s too much for me so now the insects have taken over several trees. I am 3 years into this journey but right after his death I didn\'t want to sit out on the deck or spend time in our finished basement. It just wasn\'t the same without him. He use to grill out all the time. I have used the grill once since he has been gone and that was probably a year after he died. Our lives are definitely different now that our husbands are gone. Take care and I hope you continue to have good days. Barbara