a sense of woe about life?
today's been busy, and then not busy, but productive and thoughtful
and then run it's course to the many things I've decided to do today
to fill my day and take responsibility.
After a while though, and this happens to me frequently, I have an inability
to organize my day completely (an executive function type thing) and
my whole sense of being develops into a feeling of woe - about the day -
about the challenge of organizing my life - about my life in general -
the solitude - the limits...all of it. But I am aware of it - and I just phoned
my therapist to ask her if that happens to folks and is normal?? or ok??
And so I am asking you guys here if that experience happens to any of you??
Writing this is definitely reminding me to be grateful that I have much to be
thankful for - and I know this kind of thing happens a great deal when I have so much
downtime...aka the weekends..Tomorrow will be busy once again...a zoom call with my siblings -
church at 12pm and then time with my folks after that...
Then Monday I'll deliver for my folks and then Tuesday my work week starts again.
I'll take a shower soon. That always perks up my mood.
I could go to the animal shelter and spend time with the cats there- and cheer
them up? Blue might smell them on me when I come home but it's probably a good idea
to make another creature's life a little happier.
Replies
It's normal for me. Normal enough that I plan on "fissure time" in my daily organizing. I start my day around 4am. By noon, I typically find myself getting tired and spacy. Time to let my organized productivities of the day fissure off into the cosmos while I let myself just be. If I have the energy for it, I let myself piddle on this, that or the next thing while I fissure. How ironic is it that my fissure time is often more productive than my "Productive Time?"
Cheering up the cats at the shelter sounds like a most excellent idea. Critters are most excellent teachers in the fine art of just being. I'll be interested to see if Blue gets jealous when he smells other cats on you. Persilly and several of my other dogs used to go nuts when I came home smelling like another dog.
I drove to the shelter and sadly (I don't want to trigger you ) it was closed and
'by appointment only' (pandemic). So I was initially worried about Blue sensing
I had been cheating on him - but as fate would have it - I didn't get to see other cats! :(
can you tell me what you mean by 'fissure' time? - is it those times when you feel woeful? is it about sewing together
your sense of mood and the concrete pragmatic things you've got to do?
thanks - if it's too uncomfortable to describe I respect that though.
Big hug Marky..... There are times that I beat myself up however it isn't a daily event... I tend to be pretty much of a worrywart though... That's my downfall.... xo
I was wondering about that. My Persilly has been gone for long enough that we are ready for a new dog. My eldest foster son (8) wants a cat. All of our local shelters have been CFC. (Closed For Corona) Where have all the homeless pets gone? Ditto for all the homeless and socially marginalized people. The scariest part of Coronaville is its callous disregard of anybody or anything outside senior middle and upper class.
I call it, "Fissuring" when I lose my focus. My attention quite literally fissures an uncountable number of different directions. It is a very bad thing when it is attached to a psychotic episode, but I believe it is equally good when I am in need of rest and relaxation. My formal "Fissure Time" is that end of day rest and relaxation. I also allow for fissure time when I am processing major life events and transitions.
Absolutely! I too go off on the coulda, woulda, shoulda's...however I'm learning and actually 'giving myself a break' as long as I do Something Productive During The Day~~I remember before John I'd be in pj's all day and on computer from am to pm....it's hard to live alone Mark....I lived alone from about 25-43, had John, then he was gone for 5 years and now is back...he will be leaving again. Something that has helped me is to find things on utube that teach me Calm, or teach me skills for gardening instead of playing games all day. I listened to this one today 5 times....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ht3lYDtVkw...I've got '3' Irish ladies I listen to and they just calm my soul....and this one....I just Love Nature, his dog and Him and all he does!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnYNseSJOZU
Enjoy Sunday!