A roll in the hay?
I had coffee with a male friend today. He had been a friend of Shawn's for several years before I was in the picture. I was totally thrown for a spin when he came onto me. I told him I was not dating. Then he more or less says he's "wanting to roll in the hay with me"! Well, I don't think so! No, absolutely not! But, something good came from this. I have decided to be open to a relationship if I happen to meet a good man with a good heart. Someone who shares my love for family, animals, camping and enjoys my passion for cooking.( Or maybe just enjoys my cooking) LOL One thing is for sure, I liked being a wife and having someone to share my dreams with. I'm not sure there'll be anyone interested as all I have to offer is honesty and a big heart. We'll see what the dog brings in....and it will definitely not be just a roll in the hay! (although I really do miss that too) I am so grateful to all of my friends here at D/S and it helps me to see your progress. You are in my prayers. Debbie
Replies
I think we are all trying to figure this out as we go. There is nothing wrong with wanting to find someone to share yourself with. Hugs....
\"Random\" sex is something of a \"male\" thing. I have not been interested since my stroke; fortunately, Sara is cool w/ that. I guess the occasional recreational act w/ the right partner would be OK...be picky; you know if/what you are needy for. Take care of yourself. Hugs, Gene
What an interesting date for coffee Debbie - some men are pretty low - to be picking on a lady recently widowed and just wanting a roll in the hay - not the romantic type interested in something long term! But, to encourage you - you must be attractive enough to cause male interest - even if it\'s not the type you would necessarily like! Good idea to keep you options open - God is good when we put our trust in Him and that\'s what I am doing. All the best. John
*smiles*
From someone who lost his wife over a year ago i honestly did not even think about sex for over 3 months after her passing, i wanted female companionship but not the physical part i just wanted have the feeling again of being loved by someone. Then i found someone by accident by just stricking up a conversation online. I started to get that special feeling again that i had with my wife, now we are married and i feel like i have been re-born again. Just take it slow and everything will work out for you. Even thou we lost our spouses they would want us to live on and love again.
I so understand what this is like. I am not a widow, but when I was divorced on one night, I was propositioned by 3 married men!! Truly!! One I considered a special friend of mine,...said his wife did not need to know. Needless to say, I lost that friend, and will never respect him again. one (in all fairness was separated from his wife) and one is just a plain womanizer jerk--my bro in law\'s sisters\' husband yet. Sheesh! Men can be such scumbags!! You will know when the time is right, believe me,...and work on the friendship part first, so that you will know when the time is right for you. Tight hugs, Judy
I want to make it clear about being open to a relationship. It has been almost 11 months since Shawn\'s death and I will never settle for \"Mr. roll in the hay\", \"random sex\" or \"the occasional recreational act with anyone\". LOL To begin with, I am going to find a church I feel comfortable in and pray that someday I am fortunate enough to share my life with someone. This time, I want it all. Meaning, someone who is honest, faithful, romantic, caring, thoughtful, affectionate, and loving of God and me and my children. That\'s probably enough to scare most men away, but I am not in a hurry. Judy, like you, I have lost respect for the \"coffee friend\" and will never be comfortable around him again. Thanks to all my friends, you are so helpful. Love and prayers to all of you, Debbie
Thank you for sharing this with us. I\'m glad to see that there are still women out there (like me) who are looking for more than a \"roll in the hay\" with the first guy who asks. I thought guys grew up after all that high school crap. I guess not!!! ;) But good for you for wanting to be treated like the lady you are! I\'m proud of you for knowing that, too. That guy should have been just a coffee friend first and waited to see what happened in the friendship before any talk about rolling in anything. He showed what a jerk he really is. You sure deserve better!!! Hang in there...you\'ll find a really nice guy who appreciates you for you and loves your family, your animals, your cooking and camping, too. Let me know how it goes...take care, Joanne
My suggestion was not to be with \"the occasional recreational act with anyone\". I was hoping you wouldn\'t close yourself off from intimacy with someone you felt was \"right\". Know what I mean? I am on YOUR side.