A Reminder to Myself
"When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life!"
Why does this statement make me so fearful? It has been a life time of taring me apart, beating myself up, cutting, Hitting, mental abuse, burning... Now that all has stopped. Praise God!However, I feel so vulnerable, fragile, hesitant, and frightened to move forward and care for myself, nourish my soul and actually be joyful.
I know what nourishes my soul. I have also been given opportunity to start it, but my mind is starting to hound me with negatives to stop me. I am fearing the unknown, unfamiliar and change. However, I do not want to stay in this frozen time of fear not permitting me to do anything. I need courage God! I know Your Word says, "I can do all thing with Christ who gives me strength." Help me to walk in this truth Lord!
Why does this statement make me so fearful? It has been a life time of taring me apart, beating myself up, cutting, Hitting, mental abuse, burning... Now that all has stopped. Praise God!However, I feel so vulnerable, fragile, hesitant, and frightened to move forward and care for myself, nourish my soul and actually be joyful.
I know what nourishes my soul. I have also been given opportunity to start it, but my mind is starting to hound me with negatives to stop me. I am fearing the unknown, unfamiliar and change. However, I do not want to stay in this frozen time of fear not permitting me to do anything. I need courage God! I know Your Word says, "I can do all thing with Christ who gives me strength." Help me to walk in this truth Lord!
Replies
Dear Jessica,
How honest of you to share how you are feeling. I think change, even positive change, stepping forward into a brave new world often brings with it old feelings of fear of the unknown, uncertainty, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being confused or dissatisfied, fear of so many things!
For as many times as I have been reminded that Jesus said FEAR NOT! many times, fear is a part of me that I live with, I am trying to accept it and hope to struggle less with it. I keep understanding that acceptance and to stop fighting things is the key to finally be able to face and heal from the issues that bind us.
I think it is great that you feel that you know what nourishes your soul.... so many of us are still trying to figure out what nourishes our soul.
We cannot trust our own minds to be accurate. But, if we can get in a still space, we can trust our heart and our inner guide.
KUDOS for stopping the self-hurting behaviors....this is major....this is a miracle.
Thank you for sharing your journey. You are inspiring!
You never cease to amaze me with your many and varied insights and breakthroughs. Please pray for me that I can put the bottle down. Hugs.