A Powerful Realization- Joseph

Joseph and I are doing great as usual. I see that we have a little friction and thats because we are both dominate people. We dont know how to share the power and we are sharing the same pants in the house... I was starving! I didnt eat much today and Joseph was so happy to be making dinner finally. I have been cooking for 4 days straight (I LOVE TO COOK :) and he wanted to wine and dine me tonight. Well, I was so consumed in what I wanted to do that when I tried to eat something before he made dinner, it made him uneasy. I then yelled that I wanted something and that Im tired of him telling me NO and he just got pissed. I ate what I wanted and didnt have any feelings towards what he felt because I was starving and I didnt feel he understood that. BOTTOM LINE: NO COMMUNICATION- He didnt express what he needed from me and he also  didnt ask me what was wrong. I didnt care to know what he was feeling because I was too worried about starving and I didnt practice any patience or self control. When we finally made up, I realized that I have a problem when someone tells me NO. I never had a father figure in my life and my mother wasnt very watchful of me. I always managed my own life and always knew what I felt was good for me. Everytime Joseph tries to tell me what he feel is good for me I never trust him because I feel no one REALLY knows whats good for me but ME. I have taken care of myself this far and I dont need someone to tell me otherwise. I felt bad. My heart hurt because I knew that I was going through something at the moment. I knew I had a problem with being taken care of, ESPECIALLY from a man. There hasnt been a man in my life who has given me direction or care and when one finally comes around I curl up like a rolly polly.  I am going to learn to trust myself and let Joseph play his part. He feels that he knows what I need and I am going to freely give him that responsibility. If I feel that I should intervene then I will. Until then, being cared for isnt as bad as I think and Im going to be a little more receptive. Its going to be hard and I made sure Joseph knew that and to be easy with me since I am fragile at this stage. Its hard giving the responsibility of your well-being to someone else after you have been the care-taker since 14 years old.  I trust that Joseph will do a good job and Im happy to learn about myself and change for the better of me and our relationship.