A post I wanted to keep.......

It would be great if he had a journal to write down his feelings but men usually don't go for that.I am a BS. The thing that would have helped me immensely would have been the ID/usernames and passwords to her accounts. And access to the phone records. But she still thinks that's too much of an invasion of her privacy. She at one point gave that to me and that was the happiest I've been since DDay (2+ years ago. But she changed them all and went into her little privacy kick again. Very tough to work with that.She won't give any details about her A's. It's like she's keeping those memories as keepsakes of the feelings she had for each of the OM. So that's pretty tough as well. She talks about the A when I ask. But I don't expect her to enlighten me on anything in detail. General statements only.So with all that I still sit on the fence about whether or not to just give up. It really seems like I'm doing all the work to keep us together, when she should be contributing somewhat. She wants to sweep it all under the rug. Don't do that.I suggest offering a once a week, or whatever, meeting time to go talk about the A or anything associated with your relationship together. Keep the dates and don't push them off. Go drove and sit in the car, or at a place you can talk freely and openly. And a place where you both might be able to blow up a bit - not a restaurant, or movie theater. This way he can prepare questions for you before hand. And he won't be forced to talk about something just for the sake of talking. And if he doesn't have anything for that weekly time, then just hold hands and watch the sunset in silence.Now let him know that if he needs to keep track of you, he can. The cell phone records are a perfect way he can be certain you are where you say you are. Each call you make with your cell phone hits a cell tower that is nearest to you. That location (city) shows up on the itemized cell phone bill. As well as the destination and number you called. And of course the length of the call. When I had the phone records I could tell where my wife was driving while on her cell phone. Granted it was later in the day online, but it did show her whereabouts during the day. In fact, thats how I caught her going to an OM's place for "lunch". She called him a number of times while driving to his house. And the records showed her progress.So...if he really wants to checkup on you, he has the means. And if you are willing to show him that tracking method, and maybe volunteer a call while driving places a times, he might see that you really are doing what you say you are doing. I know that this is an extreme way of showing him you are to be trusted again, but thats his big issue right now. He can't trust you. And until a track record history is shown to him by you, he will wonder whether he should stay or go. But with time comes a settling. He will eventually trust again. Time.Its taken me more than two years to get over the events of DDay, and the days leading up to that point. I still have trust issues, but ten my W isn't helping in that category at all. I can guarantee that if she was willing to be more transparent, we would be so much further along in rebuilding our relationship.I am praying for you!!! Good luck and be strong. I know it hurts both of you.