A pleasant dream, and other life things

     I was very stressed earlier today, eventually I just lay down in bed and resolved myself to just listen to something calming and make myself comfortable for a bit. I kept my glasses on so I wouldn't fall asleep (can't sleep with them digging into your face) and had a lovely time drifting in and out of awareness, having those strange nonsensical half thoughts, which were pleasant as well, sometimes listening to the video and sometimes not. When the video was over I just went to sleep. 

      I had an odd dream, I was in an odd house for a family gathering, it was very open and looked like it was built for social events, a big dining room, a big living room. It wasn't just family though, there were people there from random places in my life who'd been invited too. I was talking a lot, about important things and not so important things, I remember being open and telling them that I wasn't comfortable with something, and they were okay with that. 

       I woke up feeling out of it and dissociating but also at ease... I think I have been craving social interaction lately, and that's what triggered the dream. I want to be around a group of people I can trust and be open with, but even without the quarantine it's very difficult for me. Anyway, I'm glad I decided to take that nap. I hope I can recreate it, at least the pleasant drifting, but I'm not sure if I could. 

     I'm proud to say that I've gotten into the habit of working out. I used to think 30 minutes of excercise was impossible and excruciating, but now I pass 30 minutes easily, it doesn't even feel like enough. I haven't been around DS lately, but I feel that a lot has changed, even just the way my mind feels. If that makes sense! I got dumbbells in about two weeks ago, I'd ordered them at the beginning of this lockdown but they got delayed over and over. I've been working on my arms mostly, and I still feel weak overall; my arms and my core could use a lot of work. I also run for cardio every two or three days. It's been nice.