A New September.
I don't even know where to begin. I have therapy today but I felt like writing a little anyways.
I was reading my textbook yesterday and I stumbled across a phenomena that I thought actually could be taking into the real-world not just the professional nursing world which was what it was developed for I guess. It said that there are three stages of transitions, that we go through from moving from an ADN to BSN, (or like not being a nurse to becoming one) something of that nature, becoming a professional. anyway it said...
the first stage is letting go, the next neutral zone and the third the new beginning. The first stage you are letting go of your previous ways, of who you used to be. The third stage is you are a new person with a greater outlook on life and the second middle stage is where you have let go of who you once were but are not yet a new person.
I believe I have talked about this before, that I feel like I am between transitions (in limbo) according to this model I am in the neutral zone! I felt relief reading this like hey I am not as crazy as I thought I was, haha. I finally made sense of the feelings that I have been having for a long time now, I thought I was lost, or something but I am just not there to the new beginning yet. I want to be there but I haven't completed my transformation just yet. I suppose I still cling to old ways of thinking I get all upset about the stupidest things and become "dramatic" as my mom likes to say. But the progress that I have made in my life is realI feel I have let go of my bad ways, but there is still part of me that can't completely let go just yet. I mean I get temped to drink which I never act upon but the feelings are still there, I still cry about the accident and feel pity on myself and I haven't completely forgiven myself, (I got upset this weekend about it) so I know I am not that new person yet that will completely dismiss even dreaming about it. And with my friends situation all the people I worry about are holding me back from being this new beginning, I need to completely let go of them and their ways of living.
I feel one day I will get to the new beginning maybe when I graduate from the program and begin a new job on my own, irk its just such a relief to know that there is a name for it. THE NEUTRAL ZONE. weird huh, I know I kind of took it and made it apply but it fits.
On another note, school is in full swing and I have been studying all the time, worked a few days this week and been trying to sleep and do housework when I can lol. Right now like it has been for a while now my sights are set on my short-term goals of going to work, making some money to pay bills, studying and attending school, finding time to spend with the man, family and friends. Work on my forgiveness and anxiety (which in my opinion is going well) I feel a sense of pride now, like I am doing this, not just because I have to but because I want to. I am staying true to myself and my God and things are going well. Nothing horrible yet nothing spectacular... i guess you can say neutral? =)
I was reading my textbook yesterday and I stumbled across a phenomena that I thought actually could be taking into the real-world not just the professional nursing world which was what it was developed for I guess. It said that there are three stages of transitions, that we go through from moving from an ADN to BSN, (or like not being a nurse to becoming one) something of that nature, becoming a professional. anyway it said...
the first stage is letting go, the next neutral zone and the third the new beginning. The first stage you are letting go of your previous ways, of who you used to be. The third stage is you are a new person with a greater outlook on life and the second middle stage is where you have let go of who you once were but are not yet a new person.
I believe I have talked about this before, that I feel like I am between transitions (in limbo) according to this model I am in the neutral zone! I felt relief reading this like hey I am not as crazy as I thought I was, haha. I finally made sense of the feelings that I have been having for a long time now, I thought I was lost, or something but I am just not there to the new beginning yet. I want to be there but I haven't completed my transformation just yet. I suppose I still cling to old ways of thinking I get all upset about the stupidest things and become "dramatic" as my mom likes to say. But the progress that I have made in my life is realI feel I have let go of my bad ways, but there is still part of me that can't completely let go just yet. I mean I get temped to drink which I never act upon but the feelings are still there, I still cry about the accident and feel pity on myself and I haven't completely forgiven myself, (I got upset this weekend about it) so I know I am not that new person yet that will completely dismiss even dreaming about it. And with my friends situation all the people I worry about are holding me back from being this new beginning, I need to completely let go of them and their ways of living.
I feel one day I will get to the new beginning maybe when I graduate from the program and begin a new job on my own, irk its just such a relief to know that there is a name for it. THE NEUTRAL ZONE. weird huh, I know I kind of took it and made it apply but it fits.
On another note, school is in full swing and I have been studying all the time, worked a few days this week and been trying to sleep and do housework when I can lol. Right now like it has been for a while now my sights are set on my short-term goals of going to work, making some money to pay bills, studying and attending school, finding time to spend with the man, family and friends. Work on my forgiveness and anxiety (which in my opinion is going well) I feel a sense of pride now, like I am doing this, not just because I have to but because I want to. I am staying true to myself and my God and things are going well. Nothing horrible yet nothing spectacular... i guess you can say neutral? =)
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