< Back to malibumark's Journal

a new place and an old place

I find myself in a new place geographically and socially and spiritually

but I also find myself not in a new place, perhaps it's the same old place

when it comes to having a challenge like I do. I am coming to a peace with it.

Things are good. And I will explain more about that,

however, right now it's the first routine night of my stay here (last night I was a zombie

from the trip and fell asleep like a cement block)

and I am finding myself having to resort to 'what works' in order

to get to sleep. Thank god for my developed routine! :)

After a day of living in the group, and yet ready to help or serve

or be in services, I now have to transition back to solitary life as little ol' me...underdog. :)

This is helping to reinforce what I thought about today. Somethings change, somethings stay the same!

Today I had to do my first errand for the sisters, a run to the airport to pick up a parishioner about an hour and 20 minutes away.

On the way home, with the passenger, I was struggling with splintering within and wanting to 'yell out' at my challenges, but I maintained composure since I was not alone. I thought about things how, in my busy day full of new and exciting stuff, I seemed to have forgotten myself and yet there seemed like a familiar pattern t

and so I decided to question it, what exactly was happening here? It was the same things that have been

happening in another place! :)

On the drive, realized no matter where I am, I will always struggle with the way my 'challenge' manifests,

but I’m glad I’m where I am now, dealing with it. I am so grateful to cope with things enough,

to keep on keepin on.

I thought about though I was suffering from my symptoms I also thought about that I was 'suffering here with a new community' versus 'suffering in LA with my community there.' Happily I say, I am very glad I’m here and have this chance to try life in a different way and I'm grateful for the opportunity, though with challenges here, to make a go of it. I'm really ready for it!

Please don’t misunderstand, I have pangs about missing the people in LA, but I’m just seeing my power to manage in both places, and the demand to manage here as well as there, each place is different and yet something's are the same. Wherever you go, there you are!

I'm happy for this new adventure!! I am realizing the importance and value too for keeping in touch with folks

even more but also the value moving forward..

Replies

ccleaver 09/02/2023
Yes definitely keep your support system of people going. Isolation can turn for the worst. Hugs

mlr0853 09/02/2023
Oh Mark how I feel for you!! Leaving behind supports 'in person' and moving to a new place and trying to find your way! You Do So Well With Routine and Structure...Please do be kind and gentle with yourself as you find that restructuring in your new digs...Hugs, ml...

lilmissy7 09/02/2023
((((((Marcos)))))))
Here with you amigo, rite in your back pocket rooting you on. Whenever you need support through your transition of living in new place reach out whenever you need okay :)
Big hugs from me & Baby <3

arfie 09/02/2023
wherever i go, there i am, same ol' arfus questionarius. god appointed me her chief inquisitor, right?

and? ? ? blue? ? ? is he even more a-spin for the change in ambience?

SensitiveHoboLady 09/02/2023
Big hugs, Mark. May each day bring you more and more peace as you and blue acclimate.

malibumark 09/03/2023
things are good. thanks friends..it's a fun change!

arfie 09/03/2023
you're killing me, markus.

what kind of fun is blue having?

malibumark 09/03/2023
Blue is transitioning well! I have an upstairs bedroom and he has full run of the house. For now he keeps mostly in my room although he has gone downstairs by himself. He’s been really extra sweet

arfie 09/03/2023
thank you. i was worried because i've witnessed horror stories of cat travels and transitions. adaptability is one of the reasons i gravitate toward dogs.

may the bond between you grow from the expansion of your shared comfort zone.

mlr0853 09/03/2023
Awe so cute Mark....he will love those gardens in a bit, the quiet safe places to roam :)

Join the Conversation