a little pissy, pay no mind

was debating on posting in one of the groups but dont want to start a venting contest. Im just a little pissy right now. wondering wtf happened to my former self. I know Lyme took her and they ran off but..... ran, Ill never catch them , I cant do that anymore. used to walk and run and bike. Hell Id fall off the damn bike before Id make it to the corner if Id try it now. Lyme destroys lives . it has destroyed my life physically. I have become a stay at home cripple at 42 years old. pathetic. some days I dont even get out of the bed. I always thought how nice it would be not to have to work. now I cant. all I have is time on my hands and no energy to do anything but type on this thing. I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want and I dont even have the energy to go visiting. and who would I visit anyway? Let's see I dont really eat anymore so lunch/dinner is kinda a pointless thing (I'll bring my ensure) I could meet them at the park and swing....yeah. they could come over and watch me sit here. I'm alllll kinds of entertainment. and no, Im not feeling sorry for myself , Im pissed off. Ive been robbed. do you know what I was doing (to the best of my knowledge) when I was bitten? I was climbing around in the woods behind my house putting up fence posts because I was building a fence for the pool for the house that I had just bought, my first house, because I was finally doing well for myself and I was busting my butt making it nice and working my a$$ off making something of myself. I was in good physical shape. I walked and ran and swam , played tennis and tried...lol.. to play volley ball, hung out with my kids, tried to keep up with them.  The more I think about it I remember a night laying in bed freezing, sweating, teeth chattering, wondering wth is wrong with me? I couldn't get warm, it was painful I was so cold. I can't be sure of the time line but I got very very ill and was off with some "unknown" virus like thing that my doctors tested me for almost everything for and found nothing. I just got better and went back to work. that was 1999