A little over a Week of Visiting at Dad's

 I got here at my Dad's on Friday December 2nd, and my sister will be taking me back home on Sunday December 11th. While it's been good to spend some time with Dad, I have a few mixed feelings about being here as well. We lost Mom to Parkinson's disease last year on December 26 th, 2015. It's hard to believe that it's only been one year. It's dragged by for me, I think because every day I can't help wishing she was still alive. I'm positive that Dad feels the same way, except that his feelings of loss are multiplied by at least 100. My parents were married for sixty-four years ! Understandably Dad now feels completely lost without Mom. The family's tried to convince Dad to get therapy, but he refuses. He's always been a very private man. I'm glad that at least his doctor has put him on anti-depressants. I've already been on them for a long time now, since I have an on-going problem with depression. Losing Mom changed my depression to a whole new level that I'm not sure I can even put into words. What the family has never figured out is that  I've learned over the years to be an expert at hiding my emotions from them. Just by looking at me, they would never guess exactly how much my soul is drowning in depression and despair now, after Mom passed away. Besides, the primary focus has been on Dad where it should be anyway. Dad's 86 years old, so that multiplies the family's concern for him. Too many times you hear stories about the spouse that was left behind dying of a broken heart - just giving up on life. I don't want that to end up being my Dad. Mom's body fought Parkinson's disease as long as it could. She was sick with the disease for twelve years, until her body was ravaged too much.