A little forward

I managed to shower all by myself and make it to my doctor today without having anxiety.  The doctor says he sees a visible change in me - that I have more facial expression now than when I started seeing him.  That I am reacting more now. I always forget how deep depression does show outward physiological signs: walking, talking, moving more slowly.  Lack of or limited facial expressions.  I guess I always think about the symptoms that I can relate to vs. what others can see about me.  It was really reassuring to hear that he could "see" the difference.  And to be honest, I do feel the difference.  I read it here day by day.  It doesn't change all at once, but it has been moving forward. I have to keep reminding myself to take the small steps I can and not to beat up on myself when I can't do something.  Teaching yourself limits is hard.  I always wanted to be superwoman, invincible.  I look up to those people who can work 12 hours a day, doing a million things AND stay positive.  I don't know how they do it!  I used to want to be able to do it.  I am realizing I can't do it, and that I have to be ok with what I can do.  Hopefully, that way, I can be better at what I do take on instead of dreading the inevitable burn out from taking on too much and being afraid to say no. I watched a really bad movie tonight, but could see the humor in how bad it is (G.I. Joe) and somehow, I think that's definitely a good thing.