A little Discouraged
I am fighting depression and I have had some progress but it's hard work trying to sort out my thoughts and keep a positive attitude. Every day I try to pretend that I'm getting better and I try to pretend that things that actually bother me don't really bother me.
I'm tempted to get angry and do or say something to the people I believe have abandoned me. For some reason I feel abandoned by certain people who I want to have in my life but they don't want me in their lives right now. On the other hand there are some people who want me in their lives but I don't want to be in their lives for one reason or another. It's like some kind of joke.
I'm getting so tired of wanting certain people in my life that I can't have. I wish I could just switch that "want" off. There is one in particular who used to be like a daughter to me and now she has absolutely nothing to do with me. Since Thanks giving is two days away, I may see her at a family gathering. So now I'm becoming fragile. I don't know for sure if she will be there because there is no one in the family who will tell me if I ask them. Now I don't know if I should go to the family gatherings or avoid them
After I lost her 4 years ago I started bonding with someone else. Now that new person is distancing herself from me. So this morning I'm a little angry at myself. I wish I didn't have this annoying need to be close to someone. What the hell is that!?
I'm tempted to get angry and do or say something to the people I believe have abandoned me. For some reason I feel abandoned by certain people who I want to have in my life but they don't want me in their lives right now. On the other hand there are some people who want me in their lives but I don't want to be in their lives for one reason or another. It's like some kind of joke.
I'm getting so tired of wanting certain people in my life that I can't have. I wish I could just switch that "want" off. There is one in particular who used to be like a daughter to me and now she has absolutely nothing to do with me. Since Thanks giving is two days away, I may see her at a family gathering. So now I'm becoming fragile. I don't know for sure if she will be there because there is no one in the family who will tell me if I ask them. Now I don't know if I should go to the family gatherings or avoid them
After I lost her 4 years ago I started bonding with someone else. Now that new person is distancing herself from me. So this morning I'm a little angry at myself. I wish I didn't have this annoying need to be close to someone. What the hell is that!?
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