A LITTLE BETTER....

Tuesday, May 5:  I am a bit better.  For the first time in my life I truly understand why "cutters" cut.  Yesterday, I tripped over one of my student's foot. (It was not his fault...just an accident, and clumsiness on my part)  I sprained my ankle, bruised my knee, and hurt my wrist!  Oh, and my back is not in great shape, either.  OUCH! How embarassing, too.  A whole classroom full!  And, another student was laughing so hard...he was not being malicious....it was just such a sight to see "Mrs. Grant" tumbling all over the place!   However, I have been thinking more about my physical pain than my emotional.  I hurt!  I DO NOT bounce!  So today I have gone back and forth about which hurts more...my ankle or my knee.  Thank goodness our school has an elevator!  I usually walk the stairs many times a day!  In any case, the physical pain actually was worse, today, than the emotional!  Everyone who made comments and sent personal messages helped me so much.  Sometimes, I think, I just get caught up in only one perspective....mine.  It helps to see it from another point of view. I had a friend visit last night.  I am very worried about her.  She lost/quit/almost fired, her job.  She broke up with her boyfriend.  She is thirty-three.  Anyway, she is not doing well.  I don't know how to help her and she doesn't really seem ready to help herself.  I don't have a lot of energy for anything except to just keep being her friend.  She is such a sweet girl/lady.  I will give what I can give!  I truly adore her...she is like a daughter I never had and a friend, too! A friend (girl) of Scott's is getting married this coming Saturday.  It was/is so sweet of her to invite us to the wedding.  It should be a beautiful ceremony, and fancy.  And, she is a beautiful girl.  I am looking forward to it.  Except, Scott should be here, too.  That makes me sad.  He should be getting married, being a bridesgroom, having babies, whatever.....I am so happy for his friends to be getting on with their lives and so sad that my Scott will never experience any of these things. Chris seems to be falling in love!  I am happy for him!  He has not been "lucky in love."  This time, maybe, it will work!  I have not met her yet.  But, he sure is "smitten!" Adam is having relationship troubles.  His current girlfriend does not understand why he still has Melissa's photos around.  Melissa has only been gone eleven months.  I told him it is good, on one hand, that she doesn't understand grief.  On the other, it makes it hard for him.  Obviously, Melissa is no threat!  But, they are young and things look differently to them! So, my roller coaster ride continues!  Will it ever end?!?!?  I almost feel manic!  One day I am okay....the next I am in my deep, dark, hole!