a lil drunk so bare with me during this post
OK- so i'm going to post this as best as i can. I have had a few beers after a rough ass day so who knows how this post will sound....
1st- day started iwth me wakin up at the crack of dawn, not being able to sleep, so i cleaned the house, went grocery shopping, went to a psych appt at 7am and then went to the post office and then work. yes I did all that before 9am today. PHEW.
2nd- saw my psych- my old pysch- i tink i'm going to work with him in addition to m new ED psych. seeing him before work actually made the day go by so much better.
3rd. went to work- fucking work. fucking god damn hate my mother fucking job. end of story.
4th. went to dietitian afterwork. my husband was supposed to meet me there but shit went down at work for him and then the AC in his car broke and then he found out he had to take an exam for school. FUCK. needless to say he didnt make it- which was prob for the best. So when i went today she congratulated me on eating so well......i told her, well i lied. thats not what i was eating. and i told her I lost another pound or more since last week. and she confirmed that. so we didnt talk anyting about nurition considering that im not following the plan right now because i just fucking cant. i cant fucking do it right now. im too fucking deep in this god damn mother fucking ED. I have cried like 30 times today because of this fcking disease. bottomline she reffered me to an MD. She wants me to see this doctor who specializes in ED. She is an internist. My dieititan wants me to gett bloodwork, EKG, and all sorts of tests done because i have lost so much weight since i started seeing this dieititian. So i guess i'll call this doctor tomorrow.
Tomorrow i also see my psychiatrist for my medication mangaemnt.
phew. what a fucking life. what a fucking life filled with fucking dr appts contstantly. AHHHHHHHHHHHH
i just wanna cry. scream. i did cut today. that helped a little, but not much. why am i so motherfucking fucked up. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
okay bed time before i really go psycho on people. HA sorry if you have read this whole thing. Everything comes out after having a few beers in my systme.....
im sorry for everything that i have said. I feel so gui;lty for having you guys read my shit. ugh im sorry everyone.
i love you all
xoxoxoxo
1st- day started iwth me wakin up at the crack of dawn, not being able to sleep, so i cleaned the house, went grocery shopping, went to a psych appt at 7am and then went to the post office and then work. yes I did all that before 9am today. PHEW.
2nd- saw my psych- my old pysch- i tink i'm going to work with him in addition to m new ED psych. seeing him before work actually made the day go by so much better.
3rd. went to work- fucking work. fucking god damn hate my mother fucking job. end of story.
4th. went to dietitian afterwork. my husband was supposed to meet me there but shit went down at work for him and then the AC in his car broke and then he found out he had to take an exam for school. FUCK. needless to say he didnt make it- which was prob for the best. So when i went today she congratulated me on eating so well......i told her, well i lied. thats not what i was eating. and i told her I lost another pound or more since last week. and she confirmed that. so we didnt talk anyting about nurition considering that im not following the plan right now because i just fucking cant. i cant fucking do it right now. im too fucking deep in this god damn mother fucking ED. I have cried like 30 times today because of this fcking disease. bottomline she reffered me to an MD. She wants me to see this doctor who specializes in ED. She is an internist. My dieititan wants me to gett bloodwork, EKG, and all sorts of tests done because i have lost so much weight since i started seeing this dieititian. So i guess i'll call this doctor tomorrow.
Tomorrow i also see my psychiatrist for my medication mangaemnt.
phew. what a fucking life. what a fucking life filled with fucking dr appts contstantly. AHHHHHHHHHHHH
i just wanna cry. scream. i did cut today. that helped a little, but not much. why am i so motherfucking fucked up. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
okay bed time before i really go psycho on people. HA sorry if you have read this whole thing. Everything comes out after having a few beers in my systme.....
im sorry for everything that i have said. I feel so gui;lty for having you guys read my shit. ugh im sorry everyone.
i love you all
xoxoxoxo
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