A healing time between steps
Where to begin,....
My surgery went well. The operating surgeon understood I wanted a male-looking chest, so she removed less tissue than for a standard masectomy. There was one hitch during surgery - seems my left nipple hit the floor unexpectedly before it could be grafted into place. There was a quick meeting of surgeons' minds, and they got the fallen tissue cleaned up and grafted as planned. My reaction on being told later? I sighed, tried not to laugh at the mental images, and said, "Things happen, nobody's perfect. I expected something would go wrong, anyway."
After that, things got a little weird.
First, each surgeon who had worked on me stopped by to check on me and give me their take on how things went and what had happened. Then, the head of surgery at the hospital stopped by, and after checking to see I was ok, asked me to speak with an investigative team about my surgery. It seems someone felt that the surgery WAS NOT medically necessary, but had been done solely due to my being transgender.
This, after months of me suffering with a 6inch by 4inch open, draining wound, in constant pain. ELEVEN MONTHS. With no medical reason for it.
In that instant, my anger and pain transmuted into a cold, calm fury. I politely agreed - and insisted they come speak to me before I left the hospital. Fear of just such an investigation is what had kept Dr. Blue from agreeing to do the operation earlier. Now, they were looking to turn someone into a scapegoat.
It seems to me, if they REALLY had doubts as to the necessity of the surgery, they would have come forth BEFORE the operation was performed.
Hours later, the investigative team entered my hospital room. I asked if they had read my medical records - and they admitted not. I told them that my being transgender had no bearing at all on the operation, and took them back to the original injury to my left shoulder, almost three decades ago - in the USMC boot camp. I explained, in detail, how that injury was the reason I was medically discharged from the Marine Corps - without a disability rating - and how I had to pay out of my own pocket to have my shoulder rebuilt. Then, how over time my over-sized breasts(DDD) had begun to create pressure on my shoulders - making the original injury worse. How last year, Dr. Blue had been approved to perform a radical bi-lateral breast reduction to amend the worsening situation. And, how, during recovery, the sutures had unzipped, opening the wound that had failed to heal since. Eleven months of pain, suffering, mess, and risked infections later, I finally had to insist something be done to close the wound so it WOULD heal.
I did all of this politely, respectfully, and calmly - despite my true emotional state.
I explained how I had felt that since there was no medical reason for the lack of healing, then it must be due to where it was - and how much pressure the remaining breast tissue was placing on it to keep the wound from closing and healing. That being the best theory anyone had put forward, it followed that removal of the remaining breast tissue would allow the wound to be stitched closed - and allow it to heal. Finally. The other side was also removed in the interest of providing a balanced appearance.
Yes, i had been offered options - prosthetic breast or implant to match the remaining breast - and had refused them because I have seen someone - my sister-in-law - who HAD accepted those options, and was so unhappy with the results she wished she had both breasts removed. Plus, I couldn't stand how those options looked - even if I had WANTED breasts.
In essence, the operation had been done to close and heal the wound created by the previous operation - and to aide in cosmetic appearances created by the operations themselves.
Their expressions as the wind left their sails was priceless. I had removed ANY basis for their claim that the surgery had been unnecessary medically. I admitted that i would benefit emotionally and psychologically from the results, but that this was merely a side-effect, and NOT the motivation behind the operation. The looks of disappointment on their faces was golden. I had stopped the witch-hunt at its birthing. And I did it without allowing their obvious intent of harassing me - transgender - to upset me or make me set one of the surgeons up to take a fall.
Maybe they should have read my medical files first.(quiet gloating)
The entire time, I kept silently telling myself, "Keep composure. The NEXT transgender person to come along this path is depending on ME to lay the groundwork so their struggle won't be so hard."
The next day, i got my mail - and found I am approved to see another gender specialist for treatment. Why they will pay for my mental welfare as a transgender, but not my physical health is beyond me.
Anyway, I have an appointment to see a transgender specialist in Salisbury now. Just a few blocks away from where I live.
Looking forward to it, and to getting on testosterone.
My surgery went well. The operating surgeon understood I wanted a male-looking chest, so she removed less tissue than for a standard masectomy. There was one hitch during surgery - seems my left nipple hit the floor unexpectedly before it could be grafted into place. There was a quick meeting of surgeons' minds, and they got the fallen tissue cleaned up and grafted as planned. My reaction on being told later? I sighed, tried not to laugh at the mental images, and said, "Things happen, nobody's perfect. I expected something would go wrong, anyway."
After that, things got a little weird.
First, each surgeon who had worked on me stopped by to check on me and give me their take on how things went and what had happened. Then, the head of surgery at the hospital stopped by, and after checking to see I was ok, asked me to speak with an investigative team about my surgery. It seems someone felt that the surgery WAS NOT medically necessary, but had been done solely due to my being transgender.
This, after months of me suffering with a 6inch by 4inch open, draining wound, in constant pain. ELEVEN MONTHS. With no medical reason for it.
In that instant, my anger and pain transmuted into a cold, calm fury. I politely agreed - and insisted they come speak to me before I left the hospital. Fear of just such an investigation is what had kept Dr. Blue from agreeing to do the operation earlier. Now, they were looking to turn someone into a scapegoat.
It seems to me, if they REALLY had doubts as to the necessity of the surgery, they would have come forth BEFORE the operation was performed.
Hours later, the investigative team entered my hospital room. I asked if they had read my medical records - and they admitted not. I told them that my being transgender had no bearing at all on the operation, and took them back to the original injury to my left shoulder, almost three decades ago - in the USMC boot camp. I explained, in detail, how that injury was the reason I was medically discharged from the Marine Corps - without a disability rating - and how I had to pay out of my own pocket to have my shoulder rebuilt. Then, how over time my over-sized breasts(DDD) had begun to create pressure on my shoulders - making the original injury worse. How last year, Dr. Blue had been approved to perform a radical bi-lateral breast reduction to amend the worsening situation. And, how, during recovery, the sutures had unzipped, opening the wound that had failed to heal since. Eleven months of pain, suffering, mess, and risked infections later, I finally had to insist something be done to close the wound so it WOULD heal.
I did all of this politely, respectfully, and calmly - despite my true emotional state.
I explained how I had felt that since there was no medical reason for the lack of healing, then it must be due to where it was - and how much pressure the remaining breast tissue was placing on it to keep the wound from closing and healing. That being the best theory anyone had put forward, it followed that removal of the remaining breast tissue would allow the wound to be stitched closed - and allow it to heal. Finally. The other side was also removed in the interest of providing a balanced appearance.
Yes, i had been offered options - prosthetic breast or implant to match the remaining breast - and had refused them because I have seen someone - my sister-in-law - who HAD accepted those options, and was so unhappy with the results she wished she had both breasts removed. Plus, I couldn't stand how those options looked - even if I had WANTED breasts.
In essence, the operation had been done to close and heal the wound created by the previous operation - and to aide in cosmetic appearances created by the operations themselves.
Their expressions as the wind left their sails was priceless. I had removed ANY basis for their claim that the surgery had been unnecessary medically. I admitted that i would benefit emotionally and psychologically from the results, but that this was merely a side-effect, and NOT the motivation behind the operation. The looks of disappointment on their faces was golden. I had stopped the witch-hunt at its birthing. And I did it without allowing their obvious intent of harassing me - transgender - to upset me or make me set one of the surgeons up to take a fall.
Maybe they should have read my medical files first.(quiet gloating)
The entire time, I kept silently telling myself, "Keep composure. The NEXT transgender person to come along this path is depending on ME to lay the groundwork so their struggle won't be so hard."
The next day, i got my mail - and found I am approved to see another gender specialist for treatment. Why they will pay for my mental welfare as a transgender, but not my physical health is beyond me.
Anyway, I have an appointment to see a transgender specialist in Salisbury now. Just a few blocks away from where I live.
Looking forward to it, and to getting on testosterone.
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