A Ha moments and gaining clarity
I've had a few aha moments but the real one was last night. I had re activated my stupid Facebook account to see my nieces engagement pics. Foolishly I checked my ex wife's page, dumb I know. Lo and behold I see pics of her at the same resort we went to every damn year for over 20 years, with her new Mr. Wonderful. I saw her face..then looked at the deck and the railing and it hit me like a block of concrete. I took her and her son there before our daughter was born 22 years ago. We would try to get there every year and also get some alone time by ourselves there for years. It's about a 3 hour drive to Ocean Shores on the Pacific Ocean Washington coast. We always stopped at the Hoquiam cemetery as my grandparents and other family members are buried there. With the kids we would place sand dollars on their gravestones we collected at the beach. I have countless hours of video from these trips,
I mean really?!? I guess my daughter had posted "hope your having fun ruining all of our family memories" or something like that on her post but my ex deleted that in a hurry of course, so kids getting over divorce and not affecting them??...Right.
I went to bed last night with a heavy heart I tell ya. But it confirmed I would never ever take her back if that ever even became possible. The hurt is now almost 11 months old, and while overall I'm better the pain returns occasionally to just give me a little stab. Or in this case a little bigger stab. A friend commented to me some things we hold sacred just aren't to others and that's so true.
Anyways just a bump in this long road, had a great meal at Benihana with my kids last night in downtown Seattle. My son had made an interesting comment on her ocean trip, he said "look at her trying to recreate all of our great times"...I thought that was pretty astute. I just thank God my kids are older so I really don't have to talk or see her anymore. And Facebook deactivation complete lol.
I mean really?!? I guess my daughter had posted "hope your having fun ruining all of our family memories" or something like that on her post but my ex deleted that in a hurry of course, so kids getting over divorce and not affecting them??...Right.
I went to bed last night with a heavy heart I tell ya. But it confirmed I would never ever take her back if that ever even became possible. The hurt is now almost 11 months old, and while overall I'm better the pain returns occasionally to just give me a little stab. Or in this case a little bigger stab. A friend commented to me some things we hold sacred just aren't to others and that's so true.
Anyways just a bump in this long road, had a great meal at Benihana with my kids last night in downtown Seattle. My son had made an interesting comment on her ocean trip, he said "look at her trying to recreate all of our great times"...I thought that was pretty astute. I just thank God my kids are older so I really don't have to talk or see her anymore. And Facebook deactivation complete lol.
Replies
It\'s ok Coop, I had a really rough weekend for some reason too. I\'m like all smiles and sunshine and bam, I just back slide and fall apart, nothing triggered me this time but I just felt the sadness and the loneliness of him really being gone and it put a small damper on my thinking. I must say I cried a lot this weekend for no apparent reason. In the past I too checked his Facebook and his kid\'s Facebook pages more times that I should have and I did learn the hard way, don\'t do it EVER, that is one of the fastest ways to loose our momentum. I\'m proud to say I\'ve been able to accomplish that small goal, granted I don\'t get on Facebook much but if I do I have to force myself not to peek. I don\'t want to feel that pain ever again, this past year about killed me, I was a mess. Love you Coop, stay strong!!!!!
Thanks Pam :)
Wow that would be a blow !!! That sucked. Gosh I am so sorry you had to see that..... but I\'m sure it stung a lot to have your daughter say that definitely couldn\'t sit well as a mother. and it\'s quickly deleted.....that will put a definite bummer twist to it. You are handling it really well for how far along you are in this process. Good for you. It was a tiny slip too......Keep your chin up your doing great !!!!!
Thanks Jenny :)
Hey coop hang in there my ex did that to me we went to
the same church for yrs together well if u know my storey i jad a major surgery last summer and while I was having surgery my ex but then at the time was my bf was up laying with another women,while i was in the hospital. When I got out his mom came to my door to tell me of this news and listen to this the preacher of his church call me yeah actually called me to tell me he had brought this other women to church with him While I was in hospital recovering from surgery. But tho he never visited me in the hospital once. That was the end of us after 3 years. Don\'t they have some nerve to bring the new partner to the same places we went with them All the time sick if you ask me ! hang in there!