a good start to New Year's Eve.

I was feeling super weak yesterday at work

and when I started to write about it on my phone -

I thought it could be because I am tired -

and that kind of objective view made me realize that I was

indeed tired - and that my mood would change.

I realized that I do not have to be perfect to be valid.

I thought of my therapist's words when she talked about

some days after a long hard day, she just wants to come home

to a big hug and a mug of tea. There's something within

me that see's how that's so true .. I like her thinking - and

I think that however powerful you are - strong or talented - you build a nest for yourself

with someone you can come home to, who is your team

and your reassurance after a bad day.

So I tried not to focus on being perfect or perfectly sealed

off from life. I reconciled there's not a perfect solution to find.

There will always be questions in life to chase after

and progress in terms of answering those questions and developing

answers.

Then as I stood behind the iconostasis this morning I realize everyone has their individual interest.

Some people have deep interests in sciences, or music or the nature of religion..

and that opened me up to just feeling comfortable about myself and also in the plurality

of life. I guess I needed to find that kind of recognition.

Then my eyes started to open the play at hand...everyone in back at the altar was

was subject to the playfulness of life - it seemed power and praise

were elements there

and I determined to be straightforward I stuck to my guns to be strong

in putting my best foot forward and not getting sucked into my own

failings at falling into a hole when interacting with them per the play at hand..

I felt strong and capable and confident and I noticed

they were messing up and I was doing almost better

they have been doing these ceremonies for so long

and they still mess up

and during the ceremony they talk to each other

of maybe how to do it? or just exchange stories

which belies the extreme formality that I have so projected

that exists!

Things are good. I am ready for the New Year!

Let's go 2024!!

SunCloudJD 12/31/2023
Sending you a big hug and a cuppa tea..... Happy New Year's eve Marky.....xo

malibumark 12/31/2023
thanks Janet! Happy New Year's Eve!

SensitiveHoboLady 12/31/2023
Hooray for 2024!

malibumark 12/31/2023
thanks Nikki!

lilmissy7 01/01/2024
Big hugs <3 <3 <3

malibumark 01/01/2024
Thanks lil missy!