a good morning
I realized something important today. My day off really inspired some
positive sense in mind and body and spirit - I felt a new enthusiasm to take
care of my body and I was happier as well.
When I went down to the church today ( my morning back to the routine)
to start setting up at 5 in the morning,
I met up with the nun who I work with, who is usually of bad humor...a bitch.
I felt her slights and negativity chip away at my esteem in the sense
that my body no longer felt the connection with the grace of outlook in a sense
of enthusiasm. Initially I felt the loss of power and strength and enthusiasm
in my outlook
But I realized after that happened that indeed I am going to start taking care of my
body even so - and at long last I felt - in the face of these dour nuns I am still
going to seek out my personal beauty/health - and support a healthy mind too.
In connecting wit this I also felt myself starting to realize that we each have a form of beauty about us. This I found
in my determination to make my own...
And how we support that. So I felt even more determined to make my own path.
I felt myself being torn apart kind of - by the nuns and priest's bs - but I stayed positive and I started to see that I was determined to keep things during the service beautiful and well done and ready
and that was VERBALLY appreciated a number of times. I
recognize that some people are weak and some are strong -
and maybe I am weak - i was reminded of my mom -
but what I also found was that some are just such bad news here and some are good news
in terms of how they handle things and their outlook in life and reaction to things.
But I am going to hold onto what I make and my positive outlook.
Replies
I know I have to make a kind of mission statement in my head about my life and not just react to or sit in judgement of nuns trying to keep my me enslaved (sorry to use thst word).. I know I want to make beautiful things and part of that is making the beautiful services here. I also want to do positive and contributing things for my community and society at large. The benefit I receive makes this all possible. I am grateful. I have to start pulling more weight. I also won’t sequester myself away, make the good times roll.:)
Sorry you guys, I must sound like a broken record. Things are good. I feel very lucky to serve here. Nothing is perfect and I know I have a mental issue that makes me grind away over and over. Time to break that habit or just keep it reined in.
Makes me think about the guru saying ‘what do you practice?’
I guess we all have something like that.
Perhaps I’m not alone in feeling I could always be doing more with my life.
But I know I want to apply this practice in me to regular life.
You are certaunly not weak sweetie!!
It's hard when people are being unkind just for the sake of it
Please don't ever forget that this is about something within them
It's not about you
You could aleways ask 'You seem upset is everything okay?
There's nothing wrong with confronting BS...IMHO....xo
I want to emphasize what Jan said - It's about them, not you.
When the nuns are unkind, try to remind yourself that their reactions are coming from their own experiences and the pain they may be carrying internally. It isn’t a reflection of your worth. If it feels appropriate, you can gently ask if something is upsetting them and offer a listening ear.
Sometimes people can only give what they themselves have learned or experienced. Your presence there offers them an example of kindness.
Hugs.
you are so wise Judy! THANK YOU! :)!
Thanks Janet! I am sorry I missed saying thanks to you!
And also Judy in regards to your wisdom of: "Sometimes people can only give what they themselves have learned or experienced. Your presence there offers them an example of kindness."
I know that some people here can only receive certain kinds of emotional input or output. It's just how they are in the world.
It's everywhere you go in different surroundings - but here has really helped me see it in this specific environment.
It has me questioning what they do with that input as well.