A Few Goals Met
Dear Fred:
It isn't winter yet and I have at last completed six of the goals I set when Nick died. Here is what has been done.
The back deck is stained & ready for winter. Nick's car has been sold so it will not have to sit outside through the coming winter. The house now has a new door with a good seal and good insulation between the door & the door frame. Also, the domestic finances has been sorted out. I found private medical insurance for myself. It is very expensive and mostly useless except for hospital stays ... which I hope never happens. Also, medical bills on Nick have been resolved and paid.
Here is what I still need to complete:
I need to revise my Will and rewrite the Trust for the cats so it gives better direction to the prospective future homes and for the Trustee.
I need to call the bank in England and re-tackle the saving account, etc that are still there. Once this is sorted out to a conclusion then I need to get funds transfered so Nick's nieces & nephews will "inherit" some funds from Nick.
Redecorating the master bedroom & bathroom needs to be completed and new blinds need to be installed.
The awning for the deck may be put off until next Spring as Winter is almost here.
Lately I have just felt really strange. I feel tired nearly all of the time now. I do get some sleep at night.... more than I did the first two months after Nick died. I still feel more tired and less interested in getting out & about or life in general. Maybe this is just part of this whole lonely situation. I feel like I am just watching myself in a dream going through life, talking with friends, getting things done, even writing this journal entry. But, it doesn't feel REAL. Last night I had a dream where I met a little girl and her mother. I remember her mother told me the child's name, the child came up close to me & just looked up into my face. I told her "Hi Angie. You have a very pretty name. My name is Darlene." In this dream I could see my arms and legs, all of the parts of me that I do actually see. This dream seemed just as real as what each day seems. At first when Nick died I felt totally disconnected. This is different but I am not sure how to describe it. Whatever is going on, it will probably go away in time.
Well, Fred, it is time for me to go to bed. Thanks for listening again.
Darlene Newman 9/21/2011
It isn't winter yet and I have at last completed six of the goals I set when Nick died. Here is what has been done.
The back deck is stained & ready for winter. Nick's car has been sold so it will not have to sit outside through the coming winter. The house now has a new door with a good seal and good insulation between the door & the door frame. Also, the domestic finances has been sorted out. I found private medical insurance for myself. It is very expensive and mostly useless except for hospital stays ... which I hope never happens. Also, medical bills on Nick have been resolved and paid.
Here is what I still need to complete:
I need to revise my Will and rewrite the Trust for the cats so it gives better direction to the prospective future homes and for the Trustee.
I need to call the bank in England and re-tackle the saving account, etc that are still there. Once this is sorted out to a conclusion then I need to get funds transfered so Nick's nieces & nephews will "inherit" some funds from Nick.
Redecorating the master bedroom & bathroom needs to be completed and new blinds need to be installed.
The awning for the deck may be put off until next Spring as Winter is almost here.
Lately I have just felt really strange. I feel tired nearly all of the time now. I do get some sleep at night.... more than I did the first two months after Nick died. I still feel more tired and less interested in getting out & about or life in general. Maybe this is just part of this whole lonely situation. I feel like I am just watching myself in a dream going through life, talking with friends, getting things done, even writing this journal entry. But, it doesn't feel REAL. Last night I had a dream where I met a little girl and her mother. I remember her mother told me the child's name, the child came up close to me & just looked up into my face. I told her "Hi Angie. You have a very pretty name. My name is Darlene." In this dream I could see my arms and legs, all of the parts of me that I do actually see. This dream seemed just as real as what each day seems. At first when Nick died I felt totally disconnected. This is different but I am not sure how to describe it. Whatever is going on, it will probably go away in time.
Well, Fred, it is time for me to go to bed. Thanks for listening again.
Darlene Newman 9/21/2011
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