A fall, but not the end.

  Well, after seven months of beutiful things happening, I finally hit a time that I thought I just couldn't handle. And the truth is that I really couldn't handle it on my own. I thought my world had fallen. Everything that I had dreamed about for seven months seemed to vanish on me. I thought my world had ended, and to me it did, at least at that time. I'm not going to make excuses for it, and I really don't think I could have dealt with it any other way. At least at that time. The good news is that I sought help right away and got out of it. I could see where exactly it wanted to take me, and I just am not ready to go there. I feel much better now. It's another day and I'm moving foreward. i'm changing my sobriety date here, but I'm not sure about being open about it in A.A. I'm not going to lie, but I'm not ready to go through that shit again. I've done that before. Been open about falling and getting another desire chip, but the truth is that I know lots do gossip about stuff in A.A. I let the people that I trust know, and for now thats good enough for me. I don't want a desire chip, and to stand up in front of people again. The people that care about me know, and thats good enough. I'm not sure what day exactly I drank, but I'm choosing August 1, 2008. for my new date. Nice date, flowers are in bloom, and I feel like I am again. Thank you, God.