A Disappointment & A Set Back

Dear Fred:  Today held a very disappointing set back for me.   I have been looking forward to returning to better health: having some energy, being able to see reasonably well again and getting my hip repaired.  These things have made it very difficult for me to get out to do the volunteering or other activities  that I would like to do.  I am also pretty certain these things have effected my enthusiasm and ability to rebuild a life.
Since July I have been working towards resolving these problems.  (I had to wait until I was eligible for Medicare as I lost my insurance when Nick died.)  I have gone through a series of ex-rays & MRIs and found that due to an old hiking injury my right hip has a lot of scar tissue, has lost all cartilage & has grown some bone spurs.  I've tried physiotherapy and a cortisone injection.  It looks like a hip replacement is in the near future.
Through blood tests they determined I have a serious iron deficiency.  Through further tests they found a small ulcer & a small hiatal hernia,  both conditions contribute to the anemia but are very small.  Medication should help this.
I've known for some time that my eye sight has been getting worse and worse.  An eye exam showed I had some extreme cataracts along with my regular eye problems.  I thought the cataract surgery would be done quickly so I could see well while recovering from the hip surgery.
Today I met with the eye specialist.  They found some additional problems which must now be addressed before they can do the cataract surgery.  They found the optic nerve is way too thin in some areas & has a very large pocket & thick spot  where it attaches to the eye.  Also the retina has been damaged somehow.  I am going back Monday for further testing to determine if an additional specialist (a retina specialist) is needed.
The doctor today told me that even if he did the cataract surgery before we resolve these other issues my eye sight would still not be good.  I have no idea how long this process will take or if there will actually be a solution to these new problems.  I am grateful, however, that today's specialist is being cautious and is trying to do the best he can to restore good vision.
Currently I am really struggling with the endless days & nights that some & go without purpose.  I also struggle with the on going loneliness.  I was so hoping to start controlling this by being able to be move active. (Low energy, very poor eye sight & a leg that hurts can really slow a person down.)  I was holding on to the thought of finally having the energy & good enough sight to actually be capable of doing volunteer work among other activities.  Having this hope postponed for an undetermined amount of time is hard to handle.
I have had the evening to think about all of this,  I've finished crying from the disappointment & uncertainty of it all.  Now I need to try to find a way to feel less lonely and also come up with a worthy project that i do not have to see well to do.
Thank you Fred for listening to all of this.  It has helped to write about it.
11/14/13