A difficult day

A difficult day.  After 4 days off I tried to get up this a.m. and was too afraid to get out of bed.  Morning is a bad time for me to make decisions but I had to make one early, and I called in sick.  I had really, really wanted to limit my time off to less than one day a month, and I already went home early one day (tho not from anxiety that time).  I guess if this is the only day I take off this month, and if I can keep from calling in next month, it won't be so bad.  The other part was that instead of the anxiety passing off gradually during the day, it kept at a significant level all day.  I took an extra half a Lexapro this evening in hopes that, even if it makes me sleepy tomorrow, I'll be calm enough to get in and put out some work. 
I knew this was coming on last week, but when it's building up like this I just don't know what to do about it.  I should have taken the opportunity to talk to my shrink about that, but I guess it'll have to wait until next time.
In the meantime, for tomorrow, I have to remember to:  get lab results from endocrinologist & send to PCP; schedule May appt. with shrink; schedule ultrasound; and then schedule 3 more docs appts. (ophth., dermatologist, podiatrist, and probably a GI after the ultrasound results come back but I'll worry about that later).
I keep reminding myself:  It's better to be open (even defiant) than to let the anxiety itself make me anxious.  And I can say it's better now that I see the anxiety as being a force in itself and "separate" from me. 
Ah, well, off to bed.