a day of just being me
I woke up this morning
happy and foggy, thinking in terms of the right things to do because so often I make mental wrong turns. I just couldn't focus on it all. It was excruciating.
i came down to church where the person I work with IS NOT a morning person and my brains scrambled but I did a good job.
Thinking about what to do that is right as a human, I just thought I'll just do it all being me.
Ill get my work done and do it well but I'll do it just being me.
Replies
when i first started turning my massive IQ and its grand thunkery over to god, i feared i would handicap my intellect. use it or lose it, right? all these decades later i find myself believing quite the opposite has happened. trusting god to lead the dance, one step at a time, has freed up quite allot of space on my organic hard drive.
right? wrong? i leave the judging to the big boss. thy will, not mine, be done. please give me the strength to carry out your will.
do i get a choice but to do it as just me? it seems i am the only one who is fooled by my attempts to be someone else.
thanks arfie.!!! ......I realize "LIFE" is so many questions...i'll just have a good attitude! :)
I make mental wrong turns too. In the past, I would be blind too it and just keep right on going straight into disaster but eventually I would catch myself......forgive myself....and then change direction but it took a lifetime of pain before I became teachable. Now I tend to pause before I make a decision.....eventually, the right choice will come to me, and it's always the right one....
Thanks Bob!
I’ll share something else. I know that we all had parents who did some messed up things. But now with time and adulthood it’s all in the past and there is so much love. If there were things that you wish were done differently, I take note to myself that they just are not those kinds of parents. But they’re still amazing!
They’ve encouraged me to heal over these many many years. Very grateful
here in my second parenting career i am catching on to the simple fact that parents are mere humans carrying an superhuman load. alas, my ptsd doesn't allow my past to stay in the past the way my definition of perfect demands, but forgiving my parents makes self-forgiveness more possible.
Thanks Arfie!