A Conversation with Rhianna

On Friday night I had the chance to watch the interview with Rhianna (I'm not sure if that is how you spell it) on 20/20 regarding the abusive incident that happened between her and Chris Brown.  I thought her very sincere, mature and insightful.  A lot of the words she spoke touched me.  She said the more they got to know each other the more obsessed they became with each other.  I noticed she didn't totally blame him and thus didn't act like a victim but took her own responsibility in the relationship.  She recognized her own insanity which doesn't make her to blame but puts her in a position to change how she related and acted and what drove her to stay and to lie to herself.  One of the best parts for me was when she teared up when she finally realized that because she was a huge role model for many women she could not in good consciousness continue with Chris knowing that someone else might follow her lead and be hurt in the process.  I think it was because she was able to look at their relationships and see that hers was not that much different.  Which humbled her and humbles us to know that we are not stupid, or naive or crazy for falling for guys like these but that it could happen to ANYONE.  What stuck with me most is when she said she didn't hate Chris but just wanted him to grow up and realize the damage he had done.  She said the bruises and phsyical injuries go away in time but it is what he has done to herINSIDE that she wished he could see.  This is HUGE.  These injuries inside us are so hard to heal.  They crop up when you least expect it.   I will always remember her saying "F-love.  Love is blind. Be that third person OUTSIDE of your relationship and look in and then you will know what to do" It gave me goosebumps and it felt like she was talking directly to me.  She feels as I do - as so many women have - we are all connected in this way - we shouldn't feel shame for being human.