a bump in the road this morning - trying to find some solace
I think because I am home alone now - I am focusing on this -
I think I would be better served to find something to do.
I saw my Dad and Stepmom last night and it was nice.
This morning I went to work - and I was open and not guarded
for some reason. I just did my work - but then a usual customer came
by me - and he has always crossed a boundary with me - I try and be polite
to him - but I guess you can't get along with everybody.. Today he said something
and I guess I just need to let it go. And keep on keeping on. Maybe I will look
to see if there's a yoga class I can go to. Something...anything.
Ah well. There's no Nirvana.
Replies
I've often heard expectations called, "Premeditated resentments." I also use expectations as premeditated forgiveness. I already expect you to be an asshole and I forgive you before you open your fool mouth. Healing hopes for all. No exceptions. Your "usual customer sounds like a shoe-in for that expectation. Realistic expectations sure do calm allot of my psycho yaddahs.
But then we get to my isolating habits where my idle solitude gets me obsessing. . . Those can be gnarly enough to turn me into that usual customer any sensible retailer would rather avoid.
Yup. Yoga class or trivia meet-ups are better than that. . . Something. . . Anything. . .
Where's my Nirvana? ? ?
I have been coloring in an adult coloring book my sister gave me. I lit some candles, turned on BBC News and now my mind is 'amping up' it's yearning. I'd like to offer some helpful wisdom - but in summary I just need to help myself.
What a boring effing day - I shouldn't let that effect how I feel about myself. Pretty soon I'll get the mail, did the dishes and so on. It's like Ground Hog Day the movie. I need to effect my day because I do have the power to do that - and I won't let my feelings tell me I have no choice. I do. Thanks arfie!! Sorry if my response contains harshness - Your response was really appreciated. I can't expect anything from my customers as I work with the public and there are so many people I have to deal with quickly and fluidly. Most of the regular customers are at least cordial and it makes the work...workable. I guess I kind of groan inside when I see this customer - it just is what it is -
Big squishy hug sweetie..... you do a lot to try and help yourself...…. Have you thought anymore about getting a pet Marky?.... A dog requires a lot of care... You have to take them out a few times a day and walk them..... A cat doesn't need as much care.... Ferrets are cute... Love their owners.... They're very social and don't require a lot of care... Much more cat like in the care that they need
I think you'd be a great pet papa...…. xo
thanks Jan!! I need to focus on saving resources now. I can cover all my bills but have added a Yoga class each week
and that's about the limit for now. It would great to have a pet but I would like to be home for it. My neighbor downstairs from me has a cat and she leaves it alone for days at a time. I think it's cruel. He sits on the window sill and watches me as I walk by - I wish I could hug him and pet him to tell him "I'm here" but I can't! :) Having a pet is something I keep in mind - and if I can find someway to afford it and accept it - I will. :)
I hear you for sure...… Dan's cat is with Rascal and I a lot now.... Whenever she wants to be...… I have a kitty corner for her but before she'd spend a lot of time alone ….. xo