A better day.

Today my negative thoughts are more so at the back of my mind. Maybe trying to peek through here and there just a bit. Hopefully I won't have to many things to trigger anything. Lets just see how things go. I want to hope for good things in the future. I want to have dreams of wonderful things to come. I'm just scared of having them ripped out from under me again. How can we be happy without some sort of hope? We have to on our better days, less painful and angry days, be hopeful for happiness to come. I want and need to feel loved. If anything I need to be showed it more than the (normal, unbroken relationship).

I need tons of reasurence, tons of affection, hugs, kisses, and I love you's. I want to believe that you only need me but that thought is hard to even think about believing.

Everyday is a stuggle. Little things can trigger a bad thought. It can be so simple as text that wasnt lovie enough. Or even a text that was too lovie because I have days that I think everything that comes out of your mouth is a complete lie... Because at one point of our relationship it was. Everyday full of lies you feed me and I believed like a fool without any major question. I loved you..So I trusted you...with any and everything.

Thank you Lord. Thank you for the peace I feel in my mind today.