A BETTER DAY....
June 30, 2009: Well, today was a bit better... I am still not feeling very well so I slept in....WAY IN! (Noon) I hadn't been up too long when there was a knock at the door. Adam answered it. I was at the kitchen sink and have a straight view to the door. I actually squealed! It was Scott's friend Jeremy. (He is the Marine in the photo with Scott) Jeremy is like another of my boys. He was here, as often as not, when he and Scott were young. Throughout his whole tour (8 years) he has called me from where ever and came to visit on every single leave! I just hugged and hugged him. In a way it was like I was hugging Scott. It was such a bright spot to my day. And, again, I feel so blessed to have so many young people in my life. Yesterday, amongst all the chaos, another friend of Scott's called. She wanted my address so she could send an invitation to attend her baby shower. Again, blessings. I often feel bad about myself as a mother. I have made many, many, mistakes....still do, I am sure. And yet, there must be something to me for all these young people to keep me in their lives. I do know I have loved my children, and many others, with ALL my heart. Apparently they know that. I was always a safe house. I always listened to them. (and still do) I never minced words and often parroted their own parents. (and still do) They have always known I care. Many came/come to me, before their parents, to break whatever news they had. I always let them know I was here for them. And, in many instances, I told them they better tell their parents, or I would. But, I was still here. I have always done that with my own children. So, I am going to, along with many other changes, try not to beat myself up, so much, for all I did wrong. I am going to try and see what these young people see in me and think of what I did right. Anyway, it was nice to have a better day. Not a great day, but a better one. I will be so glad when I am over whatever this "ICK" is. I got so dizzy, at one point, I had to sit down for a bit. I did, however, vacuum! WHEW! I just could not stand it one more minute! And, I actually folded the laundry I washed! Oh, before, I neatly laid the dryed clothes on the basket. But, by the time I get around to folding them, I have to put them back in the dryer to get rid of the wrinkles. Pitiful! I just have ZERO energy! Ah, well, it is what it is.
Replies
\"And yet, there must be something to me for all these young people to keep me in their lives.\" This comment says it all!! The reason you focus on the wrong you think you did is because you are such a wonderful person and mother that you can\'t bear to make any mistakes that you think might have hurt your children in anyway. Show me a perfect person and I\'ll fly to the moon tomorrow!!! I sure hope you are over your \'ick\' soon! I\'m glad that you have summer break. Big hugs, Charlotte.
Ginger, I\'m certain any mistakes you made were in your eyes only. What a great mother and second mother you are to such great young people. How awesome for them to be able to feel so safe and open with you to share their lives. My sons have all had second mothers and I have appreciated them so much for the objective viewpoints and loving guidance they have been in my kids lives. I try to do the same for my sons friends. The saying, \"It takes a village to raise a child\" is so true. It\'s so refreshing to hear you acknowledging thr blessings in your life. I\'m so glad today was a better day and I\'m hoping you\'re feeling better soon. Love to you. Robin
The love of all these young people just says it all! I have Jamie\'s friends also, they call me, \"Mom\" and send cards, calls, etc. I know we did something right. We were loving Moms, we did the best we could, and what happened is not our fault! God Bless! Love, Judy
Hi Ginger, I am so glad that you are feeling a bit better and had the wonderful surprise of seeing Scott\'s good friend. I beat myself up so much about mistakes I made with my kids. When my boys were growing up, my house was also a \"safe house\". We had a pool table in the basement and had basic rules\": Watch your language, smoke outside and don\'t throw the butts in my yard and do not drink beer if underage or give it to any one underage. Only once was my last rule violated. And he was kicked out. The other rules were frequently broken but only earned warnings LOL. Isn\'t it strange how we can remember clearly the mistakes we made but need to remind ourselves of what we did right? It must be because we are seeking to find out what lead up to what happened to our kids. Blessings to you, Love, Belinda
Hi Ginger, I am so glad that you are feeling a bit better and had the wonderful surprise of seeing Scott\'s good friend. I beat myself up so much about mistakes I made with my kids. When my boys were growing up, my house was also a \"safe house\". We had a pool table in the basement and had basic rules\": Watch your language, smoke outside and don\'t throw the butts in my yard and do not drink beer if underage or give it to any one underage. Only once was my last rule violated. And he was kicked out. The other rules were frequently broken but only earned warnings LOL. Isn\'t it strange how we can remember clearly the mistakes we made but need to remind ourselves of what we did right? It must be because we are seeking to find out what lead up to what happened to our kids. Blessings to you, Love, Belinda
Ginger, I\'m glad you\'re going to stop trying to beat youself up for mistakes you may or may not have made as a parent. You\'ll never convince me you weren\'t doing the very best you could at every turn. Our children didn\'t come w/instructions. We did the BEST we could. As my dad used to tell me, \"Every kid is different, and you never know if what you\'re doing is right or wrong until it\'s too late anyway.\" He was right you know! Hold on to all the good things. Love and hugs, Cyn