Hugs...

I think, of all the things I miss about Rob, it's the hugs I miss the most. I can still feel in my mind how it felt to be wrapped in his arms, but I miss that so much. My sister was reminding me that, when he was alive, things weren't all as rosy as the mind likes to imagine. I know that.When a person passes, the grieving tend to put them on a pedestal and remember everything as wonderful and magical. The reality is, the people who are gone were human, and therefore, not perfect. Rob worked long hours and we didn't see each other as much as I wanted. He was a bit of a work-a-holic, actually. He had a strong work ethic and took pride in his work, and he had trouble saying no. There were many days and evenings when I sat alone, feeling sad and very lonely, but always, I knew, at the end of the day, he would come home and wrap me in his arms, and I knew things were fine. I felt safe and loved.He would always take the time to call me through the day, and he always made sure he prepared a lunch for me to take to work the next day. (It was the little things that told me he loved me, and I loved him for that.) So, while there were some lonely times, I always knew his first thoughts were of me. Now, it's just lonleiness and the knowledge that he won't be coming in the door at night. I miss his random hugs. It's been so long since I was just hugged.My granddaughter sometimes reaches out and hugs me for no reason, and it's the greatest feeling in the world.My daughter used to randomly hug me, but she rarely, if ever, hugs me anymore.  I need that so much.There is a lot to be said for hugs. I don't even miss the intimacy of my marriage all that much, and I'm not even interested in intimacy with anyone else. I just miss the hugs.