I've started getting a bit depressed this evening. Just thinking about what I couldbe doing in the next few months if I had been able to have the surgery. Starting to feel that hopeless feeling we all get from time to time. Just feeling sad really. I don't know if the cardiologist is going to say the tests were wrong and all is ok, or if it's just too late for me. If my heart disease has advanced to a point to where I will never be able to have the surgery and won't be able to lose weight fast enough to help me live any longer. I really want to be able to take my granddaughters to the zoo on their 2nd birthday. It's an important goal for me. I also want to finish my college degree. I am going back to school to finish my degree. I just finished my first term at a university. When I was younger I thought I would never get into an university, so that's one goal down, but I still need to finish to be the first in my family to get a degree. Even though it was hard this first term was great and gave me something to put my energy into. Now, I just try to get my weight down but can't motivate myself to exercise. My legs feel so heavy it's hard to lift them up to get in the car or to take a step up. I though I was doing ok on my eating, but just realized that I've only lost 3 lbs. in 17 days. I guess I just needed to get stuff out.Thanks for listening. God bless.