Today was ok. I didn't keep track of my food though because I unexpectedly had to keep my grandbabies today and they didn't leave until just now-almost 10pm. The babies have to eat every few hours so I was nibbling all day. I'm afraid I might have eaten more than I think I did. I didn't really have any full meals except dinner, which was too large. I ordered in. I had the prime rib, but I ate the w hole thing.They really give you a slab of it too. I have this mind set that you don't let meat, especially a good cut of meat go to waste, so I just couldn't stop. OK that's a lie. I could have, but I had a strong compulsion to not leave any on the plate. Even the fatty parts I didnt want I had to feed to the dog (my dog is on a diet too, and not supposed to have that, but I couldn't face throwing it away). My next excuse is that I have an ongoing cycle that never/rarely stops, so I am anemic a good part of the time and crave meat and spinach and eggs alot. I'm sure that half a cow I ate probably gave me enough protein and iron for the next few weeks. I was trying to slow down, b ut I kept shoving it in like it was a contest. In fact I almost shut off my air supply swallowing a large piece that got stuck in my throat. How sick is that, that I can't even chew the food, I jsut inhale it  All in all, I didn't do that bad, considering the sudden schedule change. I was supposed to go to my moms today, so I would have saturday to clean. but now I'll have to go saturday to my moms house and I don't know when I'll ever get a chance to clean. I've been trying to get it done for weeks now. When my daughter brings the babies over she doesn't watch them and they scatter stuff all over the place and undo everything I've done. I can't keep up with them. When I have them I limit them to the living room, but when she's there she doesn't and doesn't watch them either. I know its my fault for not saying something, but she's got alot going on and I don't want her to think I don't want them there. My point is that I'm frustrated over that which may have been a contributing factor in my overeating, but I'm thinking the truth might be that I just wasn't paying attention. It still feels like there's something in me that is a little rebelious and it tries to sabotage my good work. Sometimes it's subtle like today, and other times it's outright raging like my binge the other day. Now that I read back over what I just wrote, I realize that the change in schedule thing is just an excuse-and not even a good one at that. I mean, it was frusttrating, but really, do I expect life to have no sudden changes? Arrrrgggghhhh. Spoiiled little food monster needs a spanking!