Well, I just finished writing this extremely long j ournal, spilling my guts about all my emotions and things in the past, things I neededd to get out, feelings, regrets, guilt, yada yada...then I lost it. Well I guess it was meant to be. I put alot of personal stuff in it and I was going to mark it personal anyway. The gist of it is that I still have alot of things from the past that are coming up. I needed to journal about them and cry. I did that so now I have to decide whether I want to keep drowning myself in my own tears and regrets or get over it and get to work. I can live in the past or I can create a better future. Sure, the past sucked, but the future doesn't have to be that way. Don't get me wrong, I really needed to write about it and get those tears out, but if I stay here and wallow in it, the bad guys win. The "fat monster" wins. I'm sorry it got erased, but i will assume it's for the best. The important thing is that I got it out of my system, at least for the time being, and I'm ready to put it behind and get started doing things right. I know I will still struggle, but I feel renewed and motivated, whereas before I journaled I felt sad and defeated. So in the immortal words of Aretha Franklin (I think), I will survive. I can do this. I will succeed. I deserve a better life and only I can make it happen.
Replies
Way to go missina,
Having a possitive outlook on the future will pay dividends. We have all been low, sad and hated ourselves so much and now we are given this miracle that can (if we use it properly) make a difference.
Getting your emotions out their and changing your mind set with possitive thoughts will not make this a chour...THIS IS OUR TIME.
For a better life we venture into the unknown, but not without support, not without friendship.
Many have gone before us, many more will follow, but rest assured with a possitive attitude, we will sore.. Together with our DS family we are strong.
We are many.
We are in safe hands.
Look forward to the adventure, I for one am with you..
Take Care
Andy
You might find you need to journal like that again, and if you do, that\'s ok.. it takes a while to come to terms with your past.... it doesn\'t necessarily mean you are failing to move on... it just means all that grief and hurt needs a voice...You CAN move on, and become stronger and more focussed than ever before...Be brave and put that \"fat monster\"... back where he belongs... in the fat monster closet... lock him away and throw away the key...Be strong my friend and i know it\'s a cliche but try to take one day at a time....You do deserve a better life and you certainly can make it happen... hang in there
I\'m glad to see you being so honest with yourself...and have to say, though, I hate it when a long journal disappears! ACK!!!
I like the monster idea. I look at my addiction as a monster as well. I need to kick that monster in a cage and not listen to the sly lies that tell me it will be fun/comforting/pleasurable/normal/etc. to let it out to have its way with me!
Coming here to journal is a victory in itself in this struggle. We only really lose when we stop trying. Any effort at all is a win!
Let\'s keep on keepin\' on, my friend.
Hugs, Truth