Well, just as I feared. I weighed in today and didn't lose any weight. That's alright though. I just need to step up my work some. I did have more bad days than good this week so its to be expected. The first time I tried the treadmill this morning, I could only get to 80 something steps (83 I think).  But I think the girls moved the speed up. I put the speed down just a tad, and after resting and having breakfast I did another 120 steps. I had 2 granola bars for breakfast (280 cal total).  I am resolving to be more careful about what I eat, and I am going to try the treadmill 3x on most days. I'm starting to let excuses creep in and I need to remind myself that not everything in life is about comfort. Exercise and eating healthy are mandatory. I would like to talk about some problems with my kids I need to get off my chest. I can't eat my problems away anymore, so I need to rant a little and get them out. Last night I went into my sons room to look for my stereo. I found it, but I also found a can of paint thinner. I took it from him and he got very upset. I asked whyhe would need paint thinner and he said he used it to get some stuff off at the dorms.  I refused to give it to him and he was so angry and when that I felt sure that he was using it for huffing. When I told him that he denied it shouting at me. and when I asked why he wanted it back so much he would only say because it was his, and how I would like it if I took some of my stuff. Then he started taking stuff out of my room. he took 2 tables and stupid stuff. He obviously wanted a fight, so I just laughed at him, but he wouldn't put the stuff back. Now it's morning and I don't know if I should just drop in and let him keep the stuff to show him that his actions didn't get the expected result or should i demand that he put the stuff back and risk getting into a power struggle?  I'm thinking that he will just lose privileges until he puts it back. When he calms down we can talk about it. However, I don't know what good talking will do since he never tells the truth anyway. I'm considering calling his P.O. and telling him he needs to find him another place to live. I'm afraid that will be a cut that might sever the relationship, but it's kind of a one sided relationship anyway. I don't want him to think I'm giving up on him, b ut he needs to know that he needs to be respectful and appreciate all I've done for  him. I never minded making sacrafices for my kids, but I hoped that one day they would look back and see what I've done for them and appreciate it. Then, this morning, may daughter left early to go on a trip to the city. She apparently got lost and was calling me and I had left my cell in the other room so I didnt hear it when she called. When I finally called her back she was upset and yelling at me as to why I didnt answer when she needed me. She's a good kid. She is raising twin baby girls alone and working and going to school. She often tells me she appreciates what I do for her, but from time to time she gets bitchy and I'm usually the target. I don't usually mind too much because I know she's just a kid and she has alot on her plate and for the most part she does good. It's just that today her timing really sucked. So now I feel sad and unloved and alone and I don't like it much.  I love these kids so much and it hurts when things are not right. I don't know if they will ever be right with my son. I've missed his whole teenage years due to his being incarcerated and now I can't even relate to him. I know he lies more than he tells the truth and that he's not interested in leaving the drugs alone and that at heart he's a great kid. I wish I could reach him but I don't have a clue as to how. Sorry t his is so long, but as I said I really needed to vent and this is the best place to do it.