Well, I went to my regular Dr. Tuesday, and he said I have high blood pressure, 200/108, said I was stroke material!! So now I'm on Adivan, Paxil and high blood pressure meds and sleeping pills!! I'm not so sure about taking the paxil, I've heard some scary things about it. Has anybody else taken this med, and how did it make you feel? I think for now I'm going to just stick to the Adivan. I guess the blood pressure explains the pain in my chest, but what do they expect, it's only been 7 weeks. I hate this feeling, I've hardly ever had to go to the dr., except for emergencies, I don't like them, not to mention, everytime I get a needle I faint. I have to go back to see the dr. on July 13th, he wants to try and get my blood pressure down into the 180's. It still amazes me that something like this can have such honest to god real medical issues, that it can really make you sick, the mind is really an amazing thing or a really bad thing, I guess it all depends on the circumstances. My husband and I were supposed to go stay with his brother for the 4th of July, but he only lives about a minute from where PJ did it, and I started crying when we were talking about it. It's just to close, I could walk there and I'm not ready for that, so he made arrangements to stay with his other brother. I'm so sick of feeling like this, but it's like I have no control, I just want to go back to my normal self. I try to stay busy so I don't think, but that doesn't work either. Oh well, I guess I'll just keep trying.
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thank you for sharing...........first, i dont mean to be a downer, but i feel at this point, my son has been gone since Oct 29th 2008, that we will ever get back to our normal selves. maybe in time i will feel different. please take care of your health. i have a chiropractor who does some muscle testing, some people think this is hokey, whatever, we do what we have to at this stage of the game. anyway, he has noticed in the muscle testing that my heart appears weak.....i said yes, its broken. he did not know about my son. he said that loss and grief can really cause some health problems, but you probably already knew that.
i am on ativan, but i am trying not to take it too much because i tend to hide behind it to sleep. i took too many over memorial day weekend , that was the weekend my son\'s headstone was placed at the gravesite. i ended up throwing my cell phone in the garbage can at the grocery store along with a pop can, i did retrieve it later after i realized......lucky i found it. i totally understand about having a rough time going back to places, i had an interview in another town yesterday where my son lived for awhile. on the way home i got confused on where i was, and passed the apt. complex he lived in, the campus he went to and the restaurant he liked to go to. ugh.....yes, it stinks....our hearts are broken, i dont know much about paxil. i did try to take ambien soon after my son\'s death but it didnt work for me........
I know what you mean about going back to \"normal\". Unfortunately, you will have a new normal...and it is learning to cope with life without your child. Until Alex died I never realized that grief could cause physical pain or that you can develop real medical problems \"from grief\". But grief causes stress and stress can be a major contributor to any number of disorders and health conditions. Let the doctors help you and then one day when you have a better handle on this terrible loss...you may be able to back off of the meds. But take care of yourself...love to you...Karen
I found that I have coped better since I stopped hoping to get back to \'normal\'. Things are changed forever and your heart will always break, but somehow we kind of adjust and we have \'normal\' days. My sister-in-law (aged 42)had a stroke last week, she will be ok but the left side of her face is still drooped. It gave us all a big fright so take your meds and try to relax as much as you can. You have been through a huge stress and you need to give your body some rest. Big hugs, Charlotte.
As everyone has said you will learn a new \"normal\". It was three years May 16th for me and we do have a sense of normal it is just very different. There will always be days that you can\'t stand it and these feeling will creep back in, but then there will be times when you find yourself talking about your child and remembering something funny they did and you can remember and laugh. Then there are days you are just angry at who? you don\'t know. At what? Everything. That\'s ok, we have to go through these things but try to take care of yourself. Stress can cause so many medical problems, listen to your doctors, try to do things to get your mind in another place if only for a few minutes, and try to rest. Sending love and prayers to you ~ Denice
Thank you everyone, I realy am glad I found this sight, what a blessing. Who knew that stress could do this kind of stuff to you, I mean really, everyone one of us has had stress at some point in our lives, and it\'s never affected us so bad as this. I wasn\'t much for going to the dr. for anything, I was in reasonably good health, but this has just thrown me for aloop, now it seems that\'s all I\'ve been doing, and of course once they get hold of you, they want you to see this dr. and that dr., oh well, what else have I got to do. So we\'ll see what they can do for me, although all I want is to have my son back, then everything would be ok. But that\'s not going to happen, so some how I have to find a way to deal with all this, and to go on without him, God that hurts the worst, knowing I\'ll never be able to hug him or kiss him or even talk to him, I really hate this.