It's been 4 weeks since PJ's suicide, I thought time was supposed to help, and I suppose it is in a way, I don't cry as much. I'm just so mad at the circumstances that caused him to do such a horrible thing, I can't imagine the pain he had to have been in, and it seems that is all I keep thinking about, is how this person could get away with the lies she told, and everyone automatically believes her, all she is, is a total liar, and I hope to God that the old saying "what goes around, comes around" is true, because if anyone deserves to be judged it's her. Poor PJ, obviously felt he had no other options but to do what he did. I just seem to get angrier every day that I know she's out there walking around having a good time, while my son is dead. If I had 2 wishes, the first would be to have my son back, the second would be to have her neck in my hands, so I could throttle her, I'm being nice about what I'd like to do to her.
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Oh honey, it takes more time than a month. This is a long journey with many ups and downs. I am sorry that you have to struggle with how your son was feeling. But, try not to go there, there is nothing you can do. I think twe think that IF we figure out those things that is will help us. But our children are gone. I think that if it helps you to try and figure it out then okay...but if it makes things worse, then try and distract youself. You have many emotions to go through...hang in there...love to you...Karen
People who have never lost a child say things to us like, \"everyday things will get a little easier.\" They don\'t mean to upset us, but they just don\'t understand (and let\'s hope to God that they never really do). Unfortunately it isn\'t anywhere near as simple as that and the pain lasts forever, we just learn how to deal with it better and we breathe normally again, but it takes a lot more time yet. Anger is all part of grieving and you have every reason to feel angry, let it out, but don\'t let it destroy you. If \'she\' was indeed responsible for the feelings that lead to your son\'s death, then she has already destroyed one prescious life. Since my son died though, I have had a different perspective on death and have begun to believe that the ones who pass on are the lucky ones and the ones who have a \"lucky escape\" are not as lucky as we think! Maybe this just helps me to feel comforted that my son is in a better place, but I hope it is true. Hugs to you, Charlotte.
It takes such a long time to let the anger go and to understand that we don\'t get answers. I\'m so sorry for the circumstances surrounding your sons death and that an injustice has occurred. I think in time you will feel differently and you will not have such hatred for this person. However, not now, nor should you now. It is so early and you need this time to feel every emotion that comes to you. It may not appear on the outside but I\'m sure she lives with her own demons. My high school boyfriend committed suicide right after we broke up. I know the situation is very different for you but my boyfriends family told me how much they hated me for what I had done and I never spoke to them again. I know that people break up everyday and don\'t kill themselves and I know I wasn\'t the cause but I carry that thought of those words they said to me everyday for the last 28 years. Be patient. Love Robin