It's been 25 days now, since PJ died, seems totally impossible, that'll I'll never see my son again, to give him a hug or a kiss, or see that goofy grin of his.  They say God never gives you more than you can handle, well to be honest I think he blew this one, I'm just tired of the constant pain, and it's a real pain, not something in my head, although, that's not normal either.  I have a strong support system, but they just don't understand the pain of losing a child, I don't care how old that child was.  PJ would have been 34 in August, but will always be my baby.  I am having days where I don't cry on the outside, but always crying inside.  All I want is my son back.