Struggling :/

Grieving this kind of loss is such a hard process.  One minute I am a mess and inconsolable, the next I am ok and getting by, the next I am angry and have so many questions and everything in between.  I think it's starting to really effect my husband because of highs and lows becoming so extreme.  My highs are only because of him..... I force it for him for our relationship/marriage. 
Got a referral from a friends wife for a therapist so hoping she has availability and takes my insurance so I can get some additional help in dealing with all of this.  I have one last week off of work and then I have to go back to that madness and I honestly am worried and hoping that I can handle the stress.  I have a very demanding and stressful position working as an executive assistant for the President of my company so I am always busy and being pulled into 50 different directions all day long, it's long days and very stressful most of the time. 
Trying to stay strong and keep moving along!  I fear that the smallest could break me right now.