Had a great weekend with the boys.  We had a lot of fun.  Was great being in Green Bay all weekend with my family and my friends.  There are so many here who love me for who I am and who like spending time with me. I probably will need to move here, if I want to get through this.  I have some very tough thinking to do about my immidiete future.   I have to be carfeful and really think things through because right now I am prone to rash decisions. The stbx kept trying to call me and talk to me.  I dont want to talk to her. I ignored her.  When she did get a hold of me and asked me how I was, I cut her off and said "are you calling about the kids?" , she was quite then just asked me how they were doing and when she could pick them up.  She got the hint that I have no desire to engage in friendly conversation with her.  How does someone who is screwing another person while they are still married, ask there spouse how they are doing?  LOL what should I say: "im good, well other than the fact some other guy is sticking it to my wife..." The sun is out today. I feel ok today. The sun ALWAYS makes me feel better.  I have some friends coming over to my parents (who are in Cancun) for the Badger game today. That should be fun.   I started smoking again. Which sucks. 11 years of not smoking down the drain.  Oh well, I dont really care about lung cancer right now, it sounds like a good way to end the pain without having to do it myself.  I hope to only smoke till im in a better spot. I really dont want to do it full time again. Back to the apartment tomorrow. I hope I can keep this feeling of 'ok' that I have today and make it last a few more days.