Had a good nights sleep, I feel much better today. Well much better than yesterday, so its all relative. I emailed my stbx and told her im not going over there tonight. She was going to have me over for supper and some board games. I was really really struggling and that I was having problems getting over her being with another guy the night before valentines. She saw him anyways. She actually had the gall to tell me that he sleeps overnight on the couch, but they dont "have sex". Um yeah and im really a woman. I had several panic attacks last night where I thought I might have to call the amulance because my heart was beating so hard and my chest hurt. I realized that she can be selfish, but theres a difference between being selfish and being cruel. If she really did still love me, she wouldnt do this to me; not like this. She would have came over and comforted me last night instead of being with another guy in her bed. So im gonna get me a couple of movies, maybe some wine, and chill by myself tonight. Im going to spend a few hours shopping for some stuff for my apartment and tomorrow im going to hang pictures and try to make this place more like MY home. There are a couple of good job opportunities in the paper so I will do a lot of praying and see if I can score one.
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I am sorry that you had a rough nicht. Panic attacks are just plain scary. I used to have them all the time.Her and my husband would get along pretty well, because they are both cold hearted and cruel. You deserve so much better.
You sit and relax and watch some good movies and drink som enice wine. Treat yourself!
nicht = night LOL...
am so sorry you are going through all of this, and your right,if she loved you she wouldnt be ding this, I know because am going through the samething, in my marrage, and I know it is hard but try to stay strong, and you made the right desion not to go over there, it is time to spend sometime on your self, it is time to heal! Hope you have a great friday! Hugs Julie
You know, there is a point where being honest crosses the line to cruelty. I cant understand how she thinks telling you what she is doing with another man is good for you. Where is the compassion for the feelings of the other party. Not going over there was the best decision you could of made. It\'s time you took back the power your giving away freely to her. Stand your ground now and when she feels the need to share what she is doing for or with the other guy, stop her dead before 3 words get out of her mouth. None of us are blameless in the end of our marriages but intentional cruelty just isnt cool. You deserve better than that and she needs to know her boundaries. I do that now and I will tell you, my husband is learning rather quickly what is ok and what is not. When thoughts of her and him enter your mind, you need to find something that you can mentally tell yourself or verbally even, lol to stop that thought. Like a catch phrase if you know what I mean. I usually just tell myself, dont go there, it is baaaad. Took me a long time but it\'s working for me now. Hang in there, you will get thru this and you WILL be ok.