This may be my low point. I have never felt worse. I didnt sleep a wink last night. All i keep thinking about is tonight is the night I have the kids and since Valentines day is on Thursday, my wife and her boyfriend will be celebrating tonight, together.I dont understand where this is coming from. I have known about them for weeks, yet today seems to be the worst of the days. I want to meet him outside her house and beat his ass into the ground. I think I would probably kill him. Right now I wish I had killed him that night I found him cowering in her darkened bathroom.I just feel like im living in a dream. None of this seems real to me. Its all a blur. I keep thinking I will wake up in my bed, back in my house, with her next to me.I could have handled us ending our marriage; but I cant handle the other guy thing. Right now, in my situation, my ego is too fragile. It tears at my heart like a dull, jaded knife. I have loved her since she was a teenager. Now she has grown up and left me behind. If it wasnt for my kids, im not sure why I would even bother with another breath today....
Replies
There was a period of time where every other night I would dream about my ex and how we were still together and living happily and joking then wake up and feel more alone then ever.
The thing that I found really starting to help me turn around was working on being OK with myself. I haven\'t been OK for a long time and never addressed that but instead looked at my partner to make me feel better. That didn\'t work. Don\'t isolate yourself and find someone to talk to about this. It\'s not good to be by yourself now.
Sometimes is just hits us like a freight train... hang in there!