This may be my low point.  I have never felt worse. I didnt sleep a wink last night.  All i keep thinking about is tonight is the night I have the kids and since Valentines day is on Thursday, my wife and her boyfriend will be celebrating tonight, together.I dont understand where this is coming from. I have known about them for weeks, yet today seems to be the worst of the days.  I want to meet him outside her house and beat his ass into the ground. I think I would probably kill him.  Right now I wish I had killed him that night I found him cowering in her darkened bathroom.I just feel like im living in a dream.  None of this seems real to me.  Its all a blur.  I keep thinking I will wake up in my bed, back in my house, with her next to me.I could have handled us ending our marriage; but I cant handle the other guy thing. Right now, in my situation, my ego is too fragile.  It tears at my heart like a dull, jaded knife.  I have loved her since she was a teenager. Now she has grown up and left me behind.  If it wasnt for my kids, im not sure why I would even bother with another breath today....