Im in a size 38 jean today!!! Yay!! First time ive worn that size in years!  There is something good to be had from being sick to your stomach with sadness and anxiety!  Thanks stbx! Well last night we met to go over the divorce agreement again. I was prepared for her to rake me over the coals now that she has a lawyer.  It was mostly a bluff.  Nothing changed except now instead of her taking on all the debts, we are going to file bankruptcy, and im gonna lose my every other thursday with the kids.  That sucks but her lawyer wanted me to only have 1 day every other week!! My God!  You would think I had been a bad father or something? Was I not a loving, caring man to all of them for 10 years?   Fricking lawyer told her she could bring up my depression, and my drinking, and make me look like a real loser.   She didnt seem willing to do it.  Thank God. I did lose the 2 thursdays a month, but in return she agreed to put a stipulation in the divorce that I get the kids for the full week when she travels for work.  Since that is going to be 3 - 5 weeks a year or more, I am coming pretty even with her in total days.     We didnt even talk about her boyfriend. It gets me to angry and last night was a time for making peace; for the good of the kids.  She told me to trust her, that she isnt getting "too involved" with anyone right now.   I dont believe her but I dont care either. Its her life, I just hope she dont screw up too bad and end up hurting the kids even more. Im taking the kids up north this weekend, going ice fishing.  Should be fun on saturday! Sunday its gonna be too cold for anything but thats ok, we will just come back early.