I am feeling stronger today. Why? Because im angry.   Maybe God has blessed me with catching her with that guy.  I certainly feel like I was steered there that night.  I mean I even knew in my head that he would be hiding in her bathroom, I KNEW!  How do you explain that?God knew that I would need strength right now, and he gave me my anger.Tuesday she is all nice to me, I stay over at her house (our house, whatever) and she suddenly drops into the conversation the fact she is going to Ohio again in 2 weeks....Well of course my first question is "will he be there"?  Well yes he will be she says.  She says she needs me to be ok with that, and promises nothing will happen.  I tell her of course im not ok with it, and she claims she will try to work the trip into another week.Well last night she calls, and of course she couldnt go any other week; she has to go when he is there.  Right.  Well she promises to call me every night. Promises she wont even be alone with him.    HA HA! Im supposed to believe any of that!So today I wake up im mad.  How the hell could she do this? I have many faults, but I would have NEVER done this to her, NEVER.  I simply am not capable of hurting her in this way.  She goes on a work trip 2 weeks ago, meets this guy, then ends our marriage. Then she emails and calls him for the 2 weeks im dying inside from the loss of our life together and leans on him while im all alone!  Then 2 days after im moved out of the house she has him over!  I mean I still cant wrap my mind around it.She can blame me for so many things, thats ok. In many ways she will be right. But she will now never ever be able to claim that she did the right thing, the right way, for the best of all of us.  She threw her husband out when he was disabled and unemployed, and needed her most. She made her house alien to her children. She looked to another man to satisfy her own needs and hurts, leaving me and our children to be alone with the idea of the future without 'us'.  And now im supposed to be her friend and help her.Maybe after all the years of sacrifice she deserves to be selfish. Maybe I should be the bigger man and just be nice and help her get through this so she can be happy.  Maybe I owe that to her.  I dont know.  I just know today, today I dont want to be her friend anymore.  Today I hate her for all of this.