9/26/2014

I dunno. ups and downs. bad decisions made (perhaps). often just don't seem to care anymore. feel like I've given up inside. still. now and then, something pulls me out of myself. in spite of myself. Been reading a lot of Amish fiction. I admire a lot about them. Sometimes, the things the characters say; the epiphanies they have....speak to me. and give me peace. More peace than I find anywhere else, other than in sleep, anymore.
Everyone has a limit. A limit to how long they are willing to listen to things that are not about them. It's normal. Nothing wrong with that. And through the years I've learned to recognize when a person has reached that limit. Everyone has reached that limit. So, I'm fine. I'm ok. I have no complaints. It's what they want to hear and it's what I give them.
I'm going out of town with a friend for the weekend. Then, I have a job interview early this next week. Going to be out of town for 2 days. Have an appt to talk to Vocational Rehab about jobs and disability. Playing with the idea of going ahead and going on disability if I can qualify and it's enough to live on. Looking at hosing for low income people who are 55+. Big decisions to be made possibly. And at the very worst time of year for me. Sept-January, sigh... but I made special plans for myself for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so who knows.
At any rate, I'm fine. I'm ok. I have no complaints....