Tonight I reread some of my old posts. Looking at myself now, I realize how much i changed. How much I lost..and yes, how regrets have piled up..
But I also realize that some things are still the same. i still watch house and Y&R. I still haven't gotten to learning French (Now I'm thinking about trying Norse for a change), I still don't exercise and, sometimes, I still miss him. So..yes..i can tell that many bad habits haven't changed. and I have nothing to brag with..No job, little money, still single..But this losing streak has made me who i am. It hasn't toughened me up, oh no, but I have become more mellow, more accepting..more relaxed... Sometimes I am happy without a reason. i enjoy long walks and white nights..and I keep my room clean as a bonus. sometime, when I go out, I put my headphones on and listen to Bright Eyes on my way to the subway and i feel like the world is my oyster. An acquaintance once told me that students, during their university years, don't give anything to society. I wonder what he would say about me now..and the image of a parasitic specimen pops into my mind...
A couple of weeks ago i watched Another earth where they spoke about the existence of Earth 2, where there's another me and another you, living their lives. earth 2, a mirror to our planet, to us.
If that were true, I wonder if the other me followed the right path and what she is like. I know I lost the right way somewhere..I'm sinking in apathy. I wouldn't like to meet her though. I have traveled so far away from what i could have been..I guess that's what it's like when people say they've changed so much, they basically became somebody else..
But I also realize that some things are still the same. i still watch house and Y&R. I still haven't gotten to learning French (Now I'm thinking about trying Norse for a change), I still don't exercise and, sometimes, I still miss him. So..yes..i can tell that many bad habits haven't changed. and I have nothing to brag with..No job, little money, still single..But this losing streak has made me who i am. It hasn't toughened me up, oh no, but I have become more mellow, more accepting..more relaxed... Sometimes I am happy without a reason. i enjoy long walks and white nights..and I keep my room clean as a bonus. sometime, when I go out, I put my headphones on and listen to Bright Eyes on my way to the subway and i feel like the world is my oyster. An acquaintance once told me that students, during their university years, don't give anything to society. I wonder what he would say about me now..and the image of a parasitic specimen pops into my mind...
A couple of weeks ago i watched Another earth where they spoke about the existence of Earth 2, where there's another me and another you, living their lives. earth 2, a mirror to our planet, to us.
If that were true, I wonder if the other me followed the right path and what she is like. I know I lost the right way somewhere..I'm sinking in apathy. I wouldn't like to meet her though. I have traveled so far away from what i could have been..I guess that's what it's like when people say they've changed so much, they basically became somebody else..
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