Broken

And this is the day... I cracked... I feel completely broken... completely empty.
I'm not dead, I'm not alive... I breathe, yeah, I breath a lot actually... Sometimes faster, stometimes slower... I even have looooong deep breaths... But I'm not alive... 
I used to say that I wanted to die, but when you wanna die, is because you are living. How can I die, when I'm not even living. I'm like a walking corpse. 
I just lost that sparkle in my eyes, the smile that invaded my lips, even when it was fake I had something to show, now I can barely move, I can't shape my lips to look happy even when they are not feeling that way... 
I can't fake anymore, I'm too weak, I'm too empty, I'm too lonely... 
I just can't undo all the damage that has been done...
 

Replies

jonroland
jonroland

I\'m so sorry you feel this way. If they removed the chat bar and i could no longer talk to me and hear my amazing jokes, i\'d feel like that too : ) hehe

I know you\'re too strong to continue feeling like this for too long. Message me and let me know whats up, and maybe i\'ll share my awesome batman cake? Ya never know...
jonroland
jonroland

Please re read you\'re reply martha ...

:P
marthafdz
marthafdz

Oh my gosh!!!! I cant believe i wrote it!! actually i had to search what it was... -.- oh my lol...

Well...at least i think you got to laugh, lol
jonroland
jonroland

OMG you deleted it :O shame on you...well at least we all know how your mind works now :P
marthafdz
marthafdz

:O noooo.... you\'re meaaaan lol
jonroland
jonroland

They take away chat, and now we have resorted to talking through replies to journal entries ...

DS what have you done ! You guys have put Martha\'s mind in the gutter as well !