god...blubbering on here sure does bite the big weiny...yes, u guys understand me and where im coming from...and i like that...but the moment i sign off of here, i am back to being alone with people who think im crazy and just won't ever get it....i love u guys...i really do...i just hate that u aren't here....god im so fucking selfishi've been wanting to get together with some of my friends from treatment....but i'm getting the sense that they don't wanna hang....yea, maybe they are busy, but my head is telling me it's because they are still on the recovery bandwagon b/c they are stronger than me and that they don't wanna be around me b/c i would be a bad influence on them.....or maybe they just don't have time for me and would rather be with their other friends....or maybe they think that they will be the fat one.....idk...all i know is that im desperately needing someone around who fucking gets it!still bloated....still ostracized from the family....wish i had a friend in this world......ok i'm being a drama queen i'm sure...i have friends...but btwn work, school, and my ED, i don't have much time for them....ok missy...positives for the day...b/c ur life isn't as terrible as u have it conjured up to be...1) little michael ur fav little toddler ran up and gave u a hug as soon as he arrived at day care today...and he gave u more hugs later...what a flippin cutie!!!! 2) grace went to the potty with u without a single tear...she is finally getting used to u and is accepting u...about frikin time! 3) u got to go home 1.5 hrs early since they were over staffed today for the amount of kids who came 4) u ordered a heated vest that u can wear during the winter =P haha im such a loser 5) this friday u might be going to the musical scrooge with ur grandparents....ok that's all i've got right now...and i'm pretty impressed that i came up with 5
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I still can\'t believe you ordered that vest that is so flippen funny. Dude I hope your bra has some padding to it. Wouldn\'t want to burn the nips off!!!!! You might need them down the road!
HEATED VEST? Me want. Me NEED! Gimme! LOL
Heated vest? What da? Do you plug it in? What a great concept... :)
i love your idea of thinking up positives for the day, i am so stealing that and doing it myself!
heated vest.i love itt.
be a drama queen is good sometimes.it gets things outt.
hahahahaha heated vest you made my day
I need to see a pic of this heated vest... sounds pretty cool!
i like ur positive bits at th end... im going to try to do the same.....btw musicals rock sure u\'ll enjoy... and if i were closer i would hang with you all the time! muah, xxx
Hey there my love - hang in there, you know I\'m always here for you (even though I\'m physically not there). As for our treatment group, don\'t worry yourself - I relapsed very soon after getting out; we are who we are. You MUST MUST MUST come visit me, I find bigger cities are much easier to be just as we are: up there, it seems like we\'re living under the microscope of everyone - and everyone\'s business is everyone\'s business. As for your thoughts on people from group, I\'ve had the same exact feelings - you are absolutely not alone. I\'m pretty busy tonight writing a final paper, but I\'ll give you a call tomorrow night (after America\'s Next Top Model...my favorite)! In terms of your family, honestly love - they don\'t get it...and they probably never will. Just realize that their emotions and actions towards you are because they love you and are worried. That being said - never stop loving them, but surround yourself with people who give you strength and support. Chin up love!